Thursday, 18 August 2005

THEOPTOSIS

STAGE 1: Narcissistic Self-Organisation
MRK was once just part of the cosmic sea, a molecule tightly integrated in the mega-process. With no individuality or identity he performed his daily task like all other molecules around him, and was granted a satisfaction beyond language. Suddenly, he was able to focus, not at the major picture but at his own entity. From then point he realised he was a point, time was born. Although still ambiguous as a sensation, time started making sense, thoughts started having an order, and he gradually realised how he was transcending from past to future rather than living in the present. Soon he had multiplied from a single point to a multitude of different points on the timeline. From then on, his nihilistic singularity was replaced with the company of his multiple selves, and his attention was slowly shifting from the major picture to the minor picture: the infinite reflections of his own self. These copies of himself he quickly rationalised as memories, and as these memories accumulated and swiftly multiplied, so did his perceptions solidify. Soon, he became a self-organising thought-process, able to create its own images, thoughts and concepts. He realised infinity, zero and space. He realised that the other molecules around him had an entity of their own and soon the combination of these concepts led to the creation of matter. Although matter had begun as a concept of his self-organising nature, a way to visualise things, soon he became quite accustomed to visualising rather than being. And as his surrounding molecules began to take form, he felt tremendous unity with them, as he knew that they were still part of the same thing, abiding to the concept of sticking together, or love. But as his self-image grew and grew, so did his desire to break this unity and return back to infinity. And here lies his big mistake. Instead of realising that infinity could only come about if he intensified this love until he became one with everything again, he tried to create boundaries between him and the others, breaking free from the inevitable attraction between them. He had, in fact, fallen in love with himself.

STAGE 2: Material Transmutation
The moment he killed love, matter completely engulfed him and he felt pain for the first time. He couldn’t see anything except eternal blackness, and he felt his infinite divinity flowing imprisoned within the hard reality of matter. Suddenly he saw light, but this was no ordinary light, it caused him pain instead of gratitude, and as things became clearer he saw that he not only had imprisoned himself within material mucus, but he was also imprisoned in an obscene material world. He tried to get out of these material bounds that caused him nothing but discomfort, but all he could utter were the sounds of an awful screaming creature. He realised he had lost the ability to look at the major picture and was engulfed within a world of his own imaginings, governed by rules he had created himself – indeed the only way he could retreat from the unifying nature of the mega-process was to immerse himself into a new reality where this unification would not be a requirement. He saw – through a limited view angle – other singularities within this imaginary world. Were these ugly creatures his own imaginings or were they others like him who had retreated into the same fantasy world? To his surprise, he still felt love in the environment, these creatures were capable of it, so they must have been real right? But other feelings swept into the scene as well, both negative and positive – did he manage to also fragment love into little pieces? He felt cruelty and pity for himself, feelings that were once so embedded within love they were indistinguishable, yet now they had a singularity of their own. The horror!

STAGE 3: Complete Annihilation
This new order of things he found himself in, was so much more simplified than the mega-process that it almost did not make sense. The creatures and environment of this world seemed to abide to peculiar rules, that seemed to have sprung from their own tendency to self-organise. This world was itself a self-organising universe where made up processes such as gravity and electricity ruled over matter which in itself ruled over consciousness. Real processes like love had become hidden, fragmented and subjective. The chaotic was replaced with the ordered, even perception was put under a very limiting order. And the most tragic of it all, all these creatures were aware of their own fantasy yet all insisted on its reality. MRK was different than them in one aspect, he always realised and verbalised the falseness of it all, he never once felt that this was the real thing, he could see the plasticity and translucency of matter, he could see that his body was just a package, and early on he could also fly. By the age of 8 he had already written two books, created hundreds of artworks, poetry, and was in touch with helpful beings from other dimensions. Through these creations he hoped he would give a wake-up call to all people who ignored their true nature. Human drama never concerned him, nor did human emotions, he realised how vulgar and crude were these expressions of matter and he refused to become part of it. Many lives have passed since, but still MRK is venturing in the realms of creation and expansion of his consciousness. One day he will return back, and he will be no more.

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