Wednesday, 14 February 2007


Ultimate Reality Check / ReEvaluation

I have been having a hard time (psychologically) for over a week now; the last time such an extended depression had occurred was around the beginning of December. My problem at the time was feeling completely dissociated from the physical world and so I started a grounding procedure that led to a very positive and content mood. My heart chakra was fully balanced and I felt a pure love for everyone and everything, the beauty I saw everywhere was so immense that at times I felt like crying. At nights, I stopped involuntarily projecting to other planes and instead remained in the dream plane where I spent time with my family. Yet I find myself depressed again, and this time I seem to find no reason. I’ve become very anti-social and have been manically cleaning; I have no appetite nor care about self-maintenance. The sky is permanently dark and grey. My insight last time was that depression is self-indulgent, so I let my self indulge but now it’s time to spiral above my ego, and back to living in the present. I found this “manifesto” that I’ve written in June and I have found it to be quite powerful to read, it completely sobers me up and puts me into focus. I have made some adjustments, and will use this as a tool whenever something feels wrong.

(Speaking of wrong though, there is something fishy going on in a spiritual level, something is brewing, a change is poking from the other side, trying to manifest. Polz has felt it also although she sees it more as an internal transformation whereas I see it as a global one. It doesn’t feel good nor bad, it’s just neutral, like this smoke coming in between things and slightly blurring them, taking them out of focus and perhaps transforming them into something else. Something is definitely going on.)

Friday, June 2, 2006: “The following manifesto is version ∞ because it has been written/expressed an almost ∞ number of times in the past in my various diaries, sketchbooks, poems, trances, trips and dreams. It is the ultimate check of reality checks, it is the divine reminder, the road to the “formidable” exit. This new version marks the realisation of this set of rules as constants, thought manifestations of a message sent a long time ago. In other words, it is a survival guide for old soles like me and you.”

- I am more than my physical body.
- I am more than the sum of all of my thoughts.
- Every day is a new day, and I am a new person.
- I have chosen to enter this vehicle.
- I love myself and my body.
- I have chosen the course of this material life life.
- I am fully in control of this life.
- I am learning through the experience of material life.
- I am sharing the experience of material life.
- I am a part of a larger personality cluster.
- Knowledge is a force that guides me.
- Creation is a force that guides me.
- Intuition is a force that guides me.
- Beauty is a force that guides me.
- Love is a force that guides me.
- Gravity can pull me down but also lift me up.
- Light is the essence of matter.
- Limitlessness is my goal.
- Truth is my goal.
- Purity is my goal.
- Peace is my goal.