Tuesday, 30 August 2005

astral causality

(Summer time and the living’s not eazayyy
Summer is coming to an end. At last. Have to admit, from a mental state point of view, these holidays were much needed. I have finally started to actually live with myself. The past few years had stripped me completely from all kind of contact with my self; I had in effect, forgotten who I was. And I must say, rediscovering myself this year has been quite eventful. Frustrating to say the least. But I think I’m now reaching some sort of plateau, I’m starting to accept me the way I am – and self-acceptance is a big step. I’m not saying I have achieved it but I’m definitely closer than before. It might be a part of growing up as well, but I’m trying to cultivate this virtue – and hopefully thus, acquire the virtue of accepting others. )

Causality -» Astrality -» Pain
I’ve been reading in my SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS book, the most beautiful thing… something very similar to my THEOPTOSIS story, about how things started. First came ideas and thoughts-forms (causal plane), which in their turn created light and energy (the astral plane) which then filtered down to matter. “The astral plane is a projection of specific ideas that were conceived in the causal plane. Similarly the material universe is a projection of special forms of light and energy from the astral plane” (holograms again) It continues on to say how the astral plane is very similar to ours, but because of the absence of density of matter, it is possible for consciousness and energy to be separated into different distinct spheres. Things don’t mix there, everything is miraculously where it belongs, things are clearer lets say. Whole planets there have their own vibrational individuality. I don’t know, but for me that sounds very appealing. I would imagine being more attracted to a causal plane rather than an astral plane, but then again she is in another dimension. For me the astral plane sounds very much like Planet Markoula; I really feel a great attraction for this concept. Maybe when I do get there, I will crave for even higher planes of existence, but lets get there first and we’ll see about that later.

Passive Aggressive Personality
It is also quite obvious to me that this order of creation – causal -» astral -» physical (an oversimplification), works in a very perverted non-scale. In other words, it not only explains the process of the mega-universe, but it also explains the process of the mind; hence the individual is the mind, and the mind is the individual. This is quite a finite theory, as it has a beginning and end, but its nature to loop makes it infinite. In effect, there is no beginning or end, each plane is a product of each other, infinitely replacing one another. There’s nothing ‘out there’, it’s all ‘here’. Where? “No where”. It is just up to the mind/universe to choose its viewpoint: It may choose to be a snail the one day and an astral god the next. I could choose to be infinite reality and then become a mountain range. How? Cause it is all these things at the same time. So why hustle ourselves with spiritual/philosophical/theoretical extravaganzas, when we are god anyway? Well, remember that this process of ‘exchange’ is as active as it is passive. From a mega-universe point of view – which is more like the point of view of “the Observer” this would seem as a passive process, as passive as an innermost thought can be. Yet this thought is granted so much energy from the whole, that makes it a very active process. So again you don’t have a choice whether you will follow a certain path (spiritual, philosophical, Christian, lifestyle etc), at some point you will have to; such is the requirement of this passive-aggressive progression. [see Reflective Consciousness]

Papa don’t preach
I somehow (like to) believe that I have reached that stage in the life-course where it is my time to progress. I feel barely any attraction for this material world, something is pulling me to move away. Father always told me, since I was kid, that he felt I was much older than him, not in human years, but in life years. Perhaps it was his continuous reiteration of this, that made me always believe that I was indeed an old spirit trapped in a kid’s body. We both had had dreams and lucid visions of other worlds, pulling each other up and up to higher planes – and both saw them with a sense of melancholy and nostalgia. Although he has abandoned meditation lately, father remains the depressive-cynic he has always been, he shares with me the frustration of being in a world he has nothing in common with, the nihilism of it all, the futility. He feels repulsed by humans, he says he “can’t stand the filth and smell and pain,” and hates himself for being one of them. An InTp himself, and a Pisces – it is quite amazing how much alike we are. Has this paragraph just asserted my appreciation for daddy-poo? Woops.

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