Monday, 21 August 2006


Every time I now fall into a trance, my higher self is bombarding me with new information, truths and awakenings. It is hard to remember all of them in their entirety in trance mode let alone in waking physical existence. When I start channelling information my energy body starts to inflate until it becomes this huge balloon or parachute of some sort, bubbling with information and electrifying energy. My chakras all light up instantly, with the solar plexus, heart and third eye having the greatest intensity. Energy from my hands and feet extends to a few feet above me and envelops the whole balloon-me. Electric sparkles flatter in my face tickling my third eye, my cheeks and my tongue. The throat chakra expands into this large phallus like an antenna, transmitting and receiving information. I start constructing my own Mexican pyramid in my head and I start ascending its long, almost never-ending, staircase. At the end of the staircase I find a steep cliff, which I start climbing, on top of this cliff lies the light – blinding, inviting, pure and thoughtless. It seems that the main spiritual abilities I’ve had a propensity to since a child are the ones that are primarily being cultivated in my meditative endeavours now; these are: channelling, empathy and (artistic) inspiration. All three are a form of passive communication, which means that I am more likely to receive information rather than transmit it – I continually absorb truths, feelings and images, some of them unprocessed and of varying degrees of quality. Empathy is perhaps the most passive out of the three, and the least desired but can be evolved to the more active power of healing – something I have great affinity to. Channelling is my least developed ability from the aspect that I cannot invoke it, but when it occurs the information being downloaded is simultaneously actively processed by my analytical mind, an active-passive process (see Chicken voices). Finally, inspiration which has always been my forte, is seeing a great upgrade lately, with images continuously bombarding my brain and my sketchbooks, images of complicated symbolism and memories of past lives. Inspiration flows seamlessly down my arm and straight to my pen, while accumulating in my memory banks leaving me with a great sense of confusion, immense gratitude and awe. In fact, lately I’m feeling that I’m so full of information, whether those are emotional, visual or completely extra-sensory, that I’m going to burst. It has only been a year that I have been seriously meditating everyday, and the progress I’ve made is extraordinary. I am making contact with my long forgotten child-self, a self that had greater insight into the non-matter of things, and with this contact my dormant powers are awakening slowly and steadily.

In one of my most recent channellings it was brought to my attention that I am going to be forever alone, in a state of hyper-solitude. I was told that the path I have chosen ensures that. I was shown how my insistence in my meditative, spiritual and creative ventures is setting me apart from everybody else. The loneliness I was presented with, was not a literal or physical one, but rather a deeper sense of solitude. I was told that I will never be understood by anyone in this physical realm, that I have embarked on a spiritual journey with no room for extra passengers. I was shown how other people have gradually been assimilated into this physical reality, while I still remain a child-soul, trying to grasp onto the ‘unreal’, trying to escape this reality. I was reminded of my markings, my drawings and my ideas, the fantasies of my inner child yearning to express his innermost realisations – but the only recipient of these expressions will always be me and no one else. There was a great emphasis on me being a child, a pure form with such an enormous fantasy that itself has created a protective bubble around me, a bubble that is always slightly shifted out of phase from this physical reality. I was presented with the people around me, my loved ones, they too are completely alone in a path of utter solitude; some (the more spiritually advanced) are remotely aware of it, most rather not think about it. It was explained to me that I am helping these people just with my very presence, my unconditional love and my empathy, but that they will never be fully aware of this process, this interconnection we all have together, for we are all truly alone in this. My higher self repeated that this is a warning, that if I continue treading this path my solitude and detachment will only grow, he presented this as a challenge, a lesson that everybody has to learn – that to experience the great truths means going through immense solitude, that only through this hyper-solitude can one finally reach the state of complete annihilation and henceforth a great sense of connection with everything there is. This revelation was as much disconcerting as it was relieving, I felt a wave of reassurance and strength – I then tried to use my analytical mind and the connection was severed. This paragraph completely fails to explicate the information I had channelled.

Wednesday, 9 August 2006


Memory Issues
Last night I were 4, I were my physical self-existence, my wish self, my dream self and my higher self. In the beginning, my physical existence took over and gradually became my wish self, then my dream self came in charge and I had a dream. My higher self never took over but its presence was always there. At some point in the dream, our physical self tried to wake us up, he was concerned about what else, TIME. As he woke up, he called quickly get inside, and all the selves jumped inside his body. As they were entering, the memory download started, I tried to remember, I said 4, self in the physical, wish self, dream self and 4th? The memory of the higher self eluded me, I was persuaded finally that I was mistaken, it was three selves after all. As I tried to repeat their now 3 names, the memory of the higher self returned, only to replace the memory of the dream self. In another words I sacrificed the memory of the dream self for the higher self. The whole day I had this incomplete memory, which due to a funny play of download malfunction, I knew everything I have described besides the name of the missing third, the dream self. Only later this day after extensive research in my memory banks have I remembered about the missing link that sacrificed its place for the higher self.

Wish Self 
The explanation of the other selves is quite obvious, if not clich├ęd. But the wish self is oddly specific – such an existence is very rare to come about, only in certain Indian tribe cultures and perhaps in old 70s new age books; internet has no information on it what-so-ever. It’s interesting how the least elusive out of the three selves, eludes literature so much. The explanation is debatable to say the least. The wish self is the function of the wish, an exteriorisation or deification of the wishes of an individual, the self that carries out the wishes, having the ability to make them true, the perfected mirror image of the physical self or the astral self, the self one wishes to be and achieve. The wish self seems to have a motive, a directive, an inert nature for expansion, knowledge, progression, and evolution. Without the wish self, and hence without any wishes, the psyche would not evolve, nor would it want to, and it would comply to a state of inertia until some coincidental or fatalistic occurrence would bring it out of its way. The wish self in other terms is the creative self, wishes are in themselves a matter of creation: they involve the creation of an idea, a wish, and then its execution thereafter is the explication or a secondary form of creation. Could the knowledge of the existence of such a self, lead to the execution of my innermost, noble wishes, at least in the astral if not here? Could the wish self, be my new motive, my new directive, in trying myself to apply and execute my wishes?