Wednesday, 6 December 2006

The//Warrior

The Crystal Dragon
This has been going on for quite a while now, but I have never talked about it directly (partly because it all sounds so off the wall) and I think it’s time I put all of my experiences into order. As a child I was trained in a Crystal Dragon temple, and by the age of 6 I had compiled a large journal of my experiences in this temple. The training involved lessons on the origin/makings of the universe, astral projection, shielding, healing and energy raising. I also received some peculiar lessons about evading time through vortices (black holes?) that are scattered throughout the universe, and was shown a great variety of worlds/locales in the astral plane. The end of the training became quite violent, as I was shown how to battle using energy through my fingertips as a primary weapon but also using the imagination to conjure up objects that could act as weapons. It was about that time that my training had stopped, or I quit, but I was left with the power of channelling. Only in very few occasions have I managed to channel information at my own will; most of the time the channelling process starts on its own distorting any physical sound around me and creating a loud high-pitched sound in my head that leads me into a trance. Throughout the past 20 years I have channelled various information (whether in 'speech' form or in visual form) ranging from the macrocosmic to the microcosmic from 3 distinct sources but have been unable to make contact on my own initiative except a couple of times. At around the age of 10, I decided to start meditation, which mostly involved chakra activation, microcosmic orbit and mantra chanting in the lotus position. All my spiritual knowledge at the time was coming directly from my parents who were involved in the very traditional and strict eastern philosophy of Sant Mat. For the next 10 years or so, I was meditating on and off, and had some very interesting experiences including past-life regression but never consciously went to any astral temples. I actually had forgotten completely about my experiences in the Dragon temple, dismissing the book I had written as childish fantasies.

Turning point
By the age of 18, I had finally got over a long and heavy teenage depression and was finally out of a truly traumatic school experience where I was bullied and outcasted. By that time my meditations had also become quite sporadic as I was involved in the normal things people get up to during that age, i.e. sex, drugs and drum ‘n’ bass. That didn’t last for long though, soon something would happen that would scar me for life… To cut a long depressing story short, my mother, a highly spiritual person was reaching a great breakthrough in her spiritual advancement when an incarnate neg came into her life. She described him as "a person without an aura" and she had disturbing past-life memories of him as a Nazi (my family was involved in WWII in our previous life), in a matter of months she went completely mad and unsuccessfully tried to kill herself numerous times using quite… unusual methods. The doctors could not explain it, she was given so many pills that absolutely had no effect on her and probably made things worse. Finally after two years of suicide attempts, she put herself on fire and now she is scarred for life physically and spiritually. My whole family was completely destroyed and separated because of this incident but I will not go into more gruesome details, the important thing is that this traumatic experience completely reshaped me and changed me. For those two years of hell on earth, I had completely forgotten who I was as I had to put my emotions aside so as not to go mad myself but also because I had no time to think about myself, my life revolved around preventing her from killing herself or taking her to the hospital every time she’d do something crazy. I was basically left alone to do this, as my father fled the house not being able to handle the pressure and became an alcoholic fugitive. By the end of the second year of suicides, my sister had finished her studies abroad and came back home so I went to study in London; we basically switched places. That first year in England was perhaps the most depressing year of my life; being away from the situation, I only knew what was happening through the phone while trying to grasp the emotions that I had accumulated over the years. Nervous breakdown upon nervous breakdown, I started to rediscover myself and build strength and hope out of utter nothingness. I realised that I had great power within me, not a lot of people would have survived what I had been through. I realised that life was worth living, and that suicide was not an option; through my mother’s suffering and my pain I found light. And the light urged me to return back to meditation, to rediscover my spirituality and my long forgotten childhood. Healing my wounds was a slow and painful process, but now looking back to what happened, I wouldn’t change anything. It all happened for a reason, and I’ve become a stronger, better person because of it.

Phase shift
It was almost two years ago that I started being interested in astral projection when I was given a book called “The Magic of Astral Voyages.” I was really fascinated and wondered why I hadn’t thought about projecting before even though I knew about it. I soon read everything there is about it on the internet, got all the Monroe, Bruce and Castaneda books and read them all back to back. I also got hold of the Hemi-Sync Gateway series, and it’s been two years now that I listen to the hemi-sync sounds every single night while trying to project. My first conscious projection happened in March 2006, although I had many experiences before that through lucid dreaming including some visitations to the Akashic records (led by an animal guide) and encounters with my guides. Since then I have projected many times, stumbled on a few obstacles, flew around the galaxy, accessed some very ancient previous lives and developed a very strong sense of empathy that I struggled to cope with during this summer. My projections are not OBEs in the traditional sense, I seem to just shift from one plane to the next without any linear transition, which is a much faster process but I still don’t seem to have control over what ‘station’ I’m tuning into; I just automatically tap into the dimension my frequency has the closest affinity to. It’s amazing how many things have happened, and the amount of information I have channelled over such a small period of time. Needless to say, slowly memories of my childhood training started emerging and after a thorough excavation in my parents’ old house I found the book I had written so many years ago. The writing style is too advanced for a 6 year old, and so is the scientific and spiritual knowledge in it… it’s just surreal.

Warrior training
Since September my experiences have taken a very different turn. During a projection, I was led by a guide through a dark underground corridor to a set of sliding elevator doors. The guide explained to me that there is a “Master” on the ground floor who will bring me up if he thinks I am ready to be initiated. The elevator comes down and I get in and go up but the doors don't open so I go back down. The guide tells me it's not time yet. The process is repeated several times until finally the saint presses this red button and I'm out in the ground floor, which is not really a floor of a building but this vast beautiful green landscape. The saint looks at me and smiles and leaves, and I ask my guide "so that was it? I'm initiated now?" the guide says yes. It was at that time that I realised there was a long queue behind me in the dark corridor waiting to come up. After that, I had a series of training sessions with a group of people for surviving the “big flood,” these involved very repetitive dreams where I had to evade a large wave of water while helping other people out of the flood. At the successful end of these sessions, the guide that supervised the training came to talk to me in private so the rest of the group wouldn’t hear. He gave me some sad news about a member of my family dying in the near future, but also said that I shouldn’t worry, that everything would end soon. I was like "everything, as in everything?" he said yes and then I looked down (I was at the top of a building) and there was a parade of soldiers all dressed up as ancient Greek warriors; they were presented as actors doing their part in the great play, the ‘upcoming war’.

For another few weeks, whenever I would go to bed, I would shift into this dimension that looked like a huge fighting arena with many levels/floors. Here I faced some scary demon-looking creatures that I intuitively knew I had to fight. Whenever I’d lose, the whole thing would start all over again until I got it right. This “battle training” lasted for weeks making me very tired in physical waking life as I barely managed to get any sleep. The good thing is that I was getting better at it, up to the point where I would ‘win’ my enemies every time. After the initial shock of this very violent training, I started becoming very accustomed of it so one day I decided since I couldn’t project in the outside world, to project within myself and clean up my core images. What I found in my heart chakra was a large amount of ugly core images all over the place. They all had an image of this tall man with a beard that looked quite frightening, I don't know who this man was but I instinctively knew I had to destroy him. I quickly took out my rocket launcher and started shooting at him; whenever I'd 'kill' him another image of him would appear and soon there were thousands of copies of him everywhere. I found a large endless staircase and on each step there was a copy of this man. I flew down the stairs to the ground level and randomly shot everywhere until each copy was gone. Then he appeared in his true colours, he was in fact this floating semi-transparent dark spirit with a large coiled tail like a reptile, and when I saw his 'real' looks my fear was completely gone and quickly shot a rocket at him burning him into ashes. The relief was tremendous and I slept like a baby after that. The core image hunting continued for 3 days, until I returned back to the ‘battle arena.’ This time things felt different, it felt that it wasn’t training anymore, that if I lost there wouldn’t be a repeat and I had the profound feeling that I was now chasing other people’s demons, although I am not sure what that meant. Everyday life had become unbearable during this time, and I went through a small depression, which could be an effect from all the core image cleansing. I felt completely disconnected from the physical world to the extent of looking at myself in the mirror and just seeing an image of a mere vehicle, a distant physical representation of myself. I finally stumbled on a book about angels that said that the ‘ego is very self-indulgent’; I felt that I was just indulging my ego by being depressed and immediately the depression disappeared. Talk about fast depression recovery! I finally returned back to normal sleep, and I finally had the chance for some peaceful energy raising. My inner projections continued, now without the core images, and during my visit to the navel chakra I got to see how emotions are generated and manipulated through this complicated mechanism of spinning wheels. I am sure I have heard about this spinning wheel mechanism before but I am not sure where.

Last night, my questions about all this have been finally answered. I was back in this vast temple/castle that I had seen before in my projections and my dreams. The endless staircases, the labyrinth of corridors, the smell of old stone, large museum-like chambers, murals on the walls, it was all there, but this time there was something different, it was filled with people! These people walked around in a hurry talking with each other, or going about their own business. In fact everybody was moving in fast motion, including me, and it distinctly felt that I was in a school; I joked to myself that this was like Harry Potter. ‘Nah. We’re more like the Jedis’ said some laughing voices and I realised I was with a group of fellow students that heard my thought. It was made clear to me that we were to investigate the ‘enemy formation’ and we descended down an underground tunnel that led to another completely different setting. The group cautioned me not to go any further, and I told them I knew what I was doing; I took a peak out of the tunnel and what I saw was what looked like the clone army from Star Wars making these very peculiar spiral formations across a mountain. I thought to myself that it was funny that the Jedi comment made everything Star Wars themed, when I was spotted by one of the clones and they started throwing fireballs at us. The whole scene restarted again from the beginning with us entering the tunnel which made it obvious that this was just a training session. The thing kept repeating and repeating until at some point I got hit by a fireball and with some panic I extinguished the fire off of me and returned back home.

It all sounds quite absurd but I can’t help but to see connections here. I was never into the whole Star Wars thing, nor did I ever bother reading about the Jedi temple in the astral etc. After this experience though, I have done some investigation and found that the Jedi temple is actually the Warrior’s temple in the astral, a place that many people claim to at least have seen. It would make sense that I was at some point initiated into this temple and went straight to the warrior training before being allowed to see and interact with these other people. It’s funny, because I have been complaining that I’m a solitary mercenary without any help whereas in fact I am just part of this larger community of warriors. God, it all sounds so absurd! Warriors? What are we fighting against, who is this enemy, and what of this war? I looked it up on many forums and people deny the existence of a war, but then again why would we be training if there isn’t any war? Need more information!

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