Unaware

We are not aware beings. Robots automatically thinking, moving,
reacting. Leary was right there's nothing controversial about that, it
is just a matter of fact that our robotic constitution has a lot of
trouble understanding and accepting. I have only recently come to this
conclusion by analysing my various experiences and although I haven't
fully grasped the concept i am hoping that my awareness of it will at
least cast me a semi-unaware person. I am not even sure if it is
possible for anyone to become fully aware in this lifetime. Lets face
it, the human being as it stands today is very limited and I do not
mean this in any demeaning way whatsoever. We have made huge progress
in expanding our awareness over the years through culture of all sorts.
Still, there are some fundamental things that we are painfully missing.
Firstly and most tragically, we do not understand how our own brain
works. It follows then, that we cannot even comprehend or control
fundamental parts of our selves. Actions and emotions arise out of
seemingly nowhere, thoughts pretty much the same. We live our lives
half asleep going through the notions, controlled by chemicals that are
automatically released between our neurons, following pre-programmed
patterns that keep repeating themselves in circles. We act in the past,
almost in retrospect, always slightly lagged behind the present and
completely oblivious of the future. We are limited to these time
restrictions. We are bound to a genetic code that we can merely observe
but hardly understand.

We are indeed always observing but not really understanding. Sure we have
observed atoms and particles, and not only do we not understand them,
our methods of observation are also extremely limited. Science is
mostly theories, guesses, always unsure, and yet it is the closest
thing to fact that we have, a bunch of not quite certain facts. Facts
that keep on changing every decade when new things are observed and new
theories have to be formulated. Clearly we do not have a clear
understanding of the workings of the world we find ourselves in. I for
one constantly strive to understand the world but I am limited by my
culture and mind capacity. I try to understand my self but all I have
is highly subjective and fragmented images to analyse. Images of myself
that only in retrospect I can see how unaware i was at the time. It's
funny how these past images accumulate and drive us subconsciously,
again like robots acting out in reaction to our past. So many things
happen in the background of our consciousness that we have no control
of. The way we react to situations is determined by these subconcious
processes underneath our very noses. Why not have continuous access to
that vast amount of information? We are not masters of our own actions
and reactions, relinquishing the power to the automatic chemical
processes of the brain. If only something happened to shake us up, to
wake us from this state of hibernation. To reiterate, accepting one's
own lack of awareness, control and understanding, would be a step
towards self- realisation, and positive progress. After that only
through further seemingly illogical realisations will things become a
bit less foggy. O, to live in ignorance with a wealth of things to
discover. O, the yearning for certainty, to be free from symbols, to be
aware.