LOOKS: A frail boy with large eyes, he looks pissed off, arrogant and snobbish. His smile, fake or not is always impressive – it does make an impact. Perhaps he should try and smile more. He is male looking albeit there’s a certain androgyny in his posture, in his face, in his body, in his word, in his actions. He couldn’t help but be homosexual – it was a truly biospiritual occurrence. On first acquaintance or just from a glance he is perceived differently depending on the perceiver: straight men perceive him as a half-male if not a homosexual, but generally dismiss him as unimportant and/or a weakling. Bi-ambiguous men are highly attracted to him as are bi-homo older men because of the pedophilic sexuality he exerts. Similarly, “strictly” top gay men will fell this sexuality. His mega-crotch credentials may attract verses and some btms too, but generally btms dislike him/ do not understand him. Women of all sorts are generally fond of him – he gives off a “hug my hag” aroma. He is squared and rigid, spastic neurotic, and robotic. He is weird.
ASEX: Although always homosexually orientated, he never had a particular inclination towards sex. Despite his countless lovers, one could say he is almost asexual from the aspect that he never really desires/looks for sex nor does he ever really enjoy it. He does like the affection and intimacy that comes from a close relationship, from a preferably older man, and may have sex with this man on a regular basis as long as it is kept brief. His asexuality is by no means a result of diminished libido, but rather diminished interest and importance/priority given to sex. Masturbation for him is a daily routine that almost has no relevance to his sexual outlook. He generally regards penetrative sex of all sorts disgusting, especially when an anus is involved and quite painful when his anus is involved. Sex for him is purely an animalistic function that he’d rather avoid.
SOCIABILITY: His social skills have always been generally impaired. As a greatly introverted child he spent most of his time indoors endeavouring in creative matters while other boys played football outside. Because of his obvious preference for isolation, solitude and silence, he has been often been labelled antisocial, misanthropist, and a loner. The truth is he can function quite satisfactorily in a social environment (not always) but he will be almost always pretending. Because of the energy needed for this sort of pretence he generally avoids social situations and when faced with no other option he can only last 2 hours max on a good day.
LEFTBRAIN: His analytical mind is always working at top speeds even under the influence of otherwise calming substances. Consequently his ever-thinking brain has kept him from having a natural good-night’s sleep since his first thought was formed in his already over-active left brain. He is continually gathering more and more information whether from external sources or internal. This data is actively processed, analysed, and cross-checked by his mind, or stored in a temporary file for later retrieval. Because of the bulk of information and concept his brains handles everyday, it is important for him to let out some steam once in a while whether that’s through prosaic or poetic writing, symbol making, drawing and creating.
RIGHTBRAIN: This brings us to his creative side which has always been his characteristic although a lot of people would be surprised to find that his creations are as much a result of his highly developed developed intuition as of his analytical thinking. Creation is perhaps the most important factor in his life. Since he was born, creativity has always been his comfort zone and his only safety guard for retaining his sanity. Even today creativity is so indispensable in his life that he would probably die had he lost his need or ability to create, to speak, to communicate with others.
PERSONALITY: Where can one begin? His personality is too complicated and overwhelming even for him. One can say that he is a very neurotic person – quite impatient and almost spastic both in his actions and reactions. A certain sense of melancholy mixed with depression is always present even in his most “happiest” moments. Very critical and judgemental, he might appear quite pessimistic as he will always point out the negative aspects of a given situation or memory. He is greatly detached from material/earthly needs as well as from people in general. He does however exhibit a great capacity to love to a few chosen ones, although they may not completely realise that they are “chosen.” Because of his elitist tendencies he appears generally snobbish and/or unapproachable. An admitted perfectionist, he is NEVER satisfied, content, happy or excited. Despite all these negative traits, he has always been admired and stalked by a variety of people. This is attributed to his apparent confident/strong personality and his uncontrollable streak of rebelliousness and intelligence that more often than not inspires people and attracts leeches and weaklings like moths to a flame. These “stalkers” perhaps hope to cash-in a bit of personality, which he obviously has plenty of.
SPIRITUALITY: Parallel to creation, he also puts great weight onto his spiritual side. Early on he has come to the decision or perhaps revelation that this life’s point would be to develop his spirit as much as possible to ensure that he is a step closer to completion. Perhaps this is an emotional reaction, perhaps a karmic response, either way it seems the only logical conclusion would be to meditate, phase and astral project in order to remain in touch with the real world and ensure the least attachment to this world of illusions. It is still the beginning and he has much to face and much to learn in this awful physical existence. His continuous psychic expansion validates his disillusionment and therefore eases this game of half-life he has entered. If he has come here for a purpose, is it perhaps to break all human ties? Is it to accept the low-life humans that surround him? Is a greater lesson coming up? Most probably. Now he will go back to sleep.
Tuesday, 2 May 2006
Sunday, 30 April 2006
Empty People
A thousand five hundred (1500) empty
people. All together, packaged in a room.
I am haunted by the thoughts of a
zombie-nation, all against each other, all
against me. I am haunted by thoughts of
a haunted life-time. A life of emptiness,
solitude, darkness. People that I have
once loved, turning into empty shells or
perhaps marble statues. Magical thinking:
waiting for that sign – waiting to be freed.
The inability to fit in, to compromise, to
be assimilated. The unwillingness to do
so. The urge, the surge, the power, the
instinct to rebel, to refuse, to be different.
To actually have a personality, to be
infallible, to be intelligible, to question.
people. All together, packaged in a room.
I am haunted by the thoughts of a
zombie-nation, all against each other, all
against me. I am haunted by thoughts of
a haunted life-time. A life of emptiness,
solitude, darkness. People that I have
once loved, turning into empty shells or
perhaps marble statues. Magical thinking:
waiting for that sign – waiting to be freed.
The inability to fit in, to compromise, to
be assimilated. The unwillingness to do
so. The urge, the surge, the power, the
instinct to rebel, to refuse, to be different.
To actually have a personality, to be
infallible, to be intelligible, to question.
Saturday, 29 April 2006
BEAUTY
My consciousness has been forcibly shifted to an alternate reality.
I did not want this change but I had no choice. I still have some
bonds with this reality that seem to be nonetheless quite karmic. In
this reality there are thousands of eyes all around you, watching
you, judging you, absorbing you. Here the roads go in circles so
you always return where you came from. Here people know
everything about everyone – a truly biologically panoptistic society.
Hedonistic conservatism prevails. And there I am (in a hypothetical future)–
standing like a prick
in the middle of the street,
covered in red,
wings severed,
my pride taken away,
and all I am left with is my erect penis.
I live my life in utter dissatisfaction, or perhaps detachment. The
little person in my head rings “I HATE YOU”, and I realise there
is a little person in my head that is ringing “I HATE YOU” not to
me, but to the reality that surrounds us: “We have waited far too
long for this. It is time we escape not only this, but any physical
reality; it is time to embark for a higher existence. An existence
without matter nor clutter. No fragmentation and no
individualisation. A superior existence of love, purity, thought,
energy, beauty.”
I did not want this change but I had no choice. I still have some
bonds with this reality that seem to be nonetheless quite karmic. In
this reality there are thousands of eyes all around you, watching
you, judging you, absorbing you. Here the roads go in circles so
you always return where you came from. Here people know
everything about everyone – a truly biologically panoptistic society.
Hedonistic conservatism prevails. And there I am (in a hypothetical future)–
standing like a prick
in the middle of the street,
covered in red,
wings severed,
my pride taken away,
and all I am left with is my erect penis.
I live my life in utter dissatisfaction, or perhaps detachment. The
little person in my head rings “I HATE YOU”, and I realise there
is a little person in my head that is ringing “I HATE YOU” not to
me, but to the reality that surrounds us: “We have waited far too
long for this. It is time we escape not only this, but any physical
reality; it is time to embark for a higher existence. An existence
without matter nor clutter. No fragmentation and no
individualisation. A superior existence of love, purity, thought,
energy, beauty.”
Monday, 10 April 2006
Thought Equation
I think therefore I am
Without thought I am not
Yet thought is all I am
Thought is me,
Or thought and me?
The sum of one’s thoughts
Is what one is.
Thought process passive,
Thought process active.
Thought-form transcends,
Thought-form creates.
Himself. He’s just trying to understand himself like everyone else. His thoughts just reflect back to himself. His understanding of the world leads to the understanding of himself. His only reference is himself. The world he resides in is his own creation. The world inside him is his own creation. He is his own creation. He is trapped in his own creation. He is creation himself. Or should I say… herself?
Without thought I am not
Yet thought is all I am
Thought is me,
Or thought and me?
The sum of one’s thoughts
Is what one is.
Thought process passive,
Thought process active.
Thought-form transcends,
Thought-form creates.
Himself. He’s just trying to understand himself like everyone else. His thoughts just reflect back to himself. His understanding of the world leads to the understanding of himself. His only reference is himself. The world he resides in is his own creation. The world inside him is his own creation. He is his own creation. He is trapped in his own creation. He is creation himself. Or should I say… herself?
Friday, 31 March 2006
THE_OTHER
Heart Pain
Yet another AP process, that may help newbies get over some common problems with AP. While doing my usual astral projection methods, my heart always hurts and I divert the power to my third eye to avoid the pain. This time though I decided at some point to directly concentrate in the very middle of the heart-pain and release it away – it worked. I could then on clearly feel a “line” that was separating my lower body from my upper body – like below it was dead and above alive. My heart chakra apparently just needed some workout – like a valve I turned it open.
Energy flow
I pushed the energy upwards until it reached my neck. Halt again but not painful. The energy seemed to disperse in a random fashion when it reached my neck like I had no control over it (my throat chakra is way over-reactive) but I did manage to divert some of it towards the middle of my brain. Soon I could feel the back of my head (position of ego) pulsating and taking a form of its own, like a huge blob inflating in my brain. My whole body felt like a huge void projecting a 3d image of myself – it extended seamlessly from my body and into the air in a straight line. I tried pushing the blob towards my third eye but it felt like it needed more energy so I immediately attached my tongue on the top of my mouth and streamed energy from my neck through the tongue and directly to my third eye (the known tongue grip). It felt like I was drinking water upside down; water/energy flowing from my throat and quenching my ever so thirsty third eye.
The Other
Suddenly it happened. I blanked out. It felt like I was turned inside out. My vision could detect weird psychedelic shapes and red lights. It was then that I realised I could see behind closed eyes with a very blurred vision. My heart started pounding. It felt nothing like me - I was another person. It felt like I died. So scary and exciting. That foreign entity that was me made one thought before it returned back to my body. It thought “The veil has been lifted” and as it returned back the echo of that thought pounded in my head. Now I understand why fear is among the biggest problems for Astral Projection…
Yet another AP process, that may help newbies get over some common problems with AP. While doing my usual astral projection methods, my heart always hurts and I divert the power to my third eye to avoid the pain. This time though I decided at some point to directly concentrate in the very middle of the heart-pain and release it away – it worked. I could then on clearly feel a “line” that was separating my lower body from my upper body – like below it was dead and above alive. My heart chakra apparently just needed some workout – like a valve I turned it open.
Energy flow
I pushed the energy upwards until it reached my neck. Halt again but not painful. The energy seemed to disperse in a random fashion when it reached my neck like I had no control over it (my throat chakra is way over-reactive) but I did manage to divert some of it towards the middle of my brain. Soon I could feel the back of my head (position of ego) pulsating and taking a form of its own, like a huge blob inflating in my brain. My whole body felt like a huge void projecting a 3d image of myself – it extended seamlessly from my body and into the air in a straight line. I tried pushing the blob towards my third eye but it felt like it needed more energy so I immediately attached my tongue on the top of my mouth and streamed energy from my neck through the tongue and directly to my third eye (the known tongue grip). It felt like I was drinking water upside down; water/energy flowing from my throat and quenching my ever so thirsty third eye.
The Other
Suddenly it happened. I blanked out. It felt like I was turned inside out. My vision could detect weird psychedelic shapes and red lights. It was then that I realised I could see behind closed eyes with a very blurred vision. My heart started pounding. It felt nothing like me - I was another person. It felt like I died. So scary and exciting. That foreign entity that was me made one thought before it returned back to my body. It thought “The veil has been lifted” and as it returned back the echo of that thought pounded in my head. Now I understand why fear is among the biggest problems for Astral Projection…
Sunday, 5 March 2006
FLY
I fly. Every night I fly out of the window. And float over my street. I fly to the train station, and follow the rails to London. I reach Waterloo station and glide over Trafalgar square. Then I beam wherever I see fit.
Walking people ask me why I don’t walk. I have no answer to give them. Why not fly? Is it to so absurd to want to? I try to keep a short distance from walking people when I’m with them, maybe 1-2m above them. When they stand I graciously hover just a tad above in a graceful arch position. When they talk to me I subtly lean my body forwards so it is directed towards them to show that I do not regard myself superior. They still have to look upwards to communicate with me but that is what you get when you hang out with a flying friend. Although my perceptions are acute, the height tends to undermine common occurrences amongst walking people. Therefore I sometimes seem to ‘miss’ things, but that’s a misunderstanding for I perceive everything. I just tend not to dwell or analyse it unless specifically asked to.
Flying exercises:
Run and jump: A fun exercise and the best for novices, wherever you are just run forwards to gather momentum and then jump straight ahead adjusting your body horizontally. The air and the momentum will help you float and momentarily push you quite further. Once safely in the air push your body towards the direction you want to move. If you keep finding yourself in the ground, repeat as necessary.
Just jump: Once you get accustomed to flying a simple jump will get you flying in no time. As you progress you will find that the transition becomes almost effortless and seamless.
Walking people ask me why I don’t walk. I have no answer to give them. Why not fly? Is it to so absurd to want to? I try to keep a short distance from walking people when I’m with them, maybe 1-2m above them. When they stand I graciously hover just a tad above in a graceful arch position. When they talk to me I subtly lean my body forwards so it is directed towards them to show that I do not regard myself superior. They still have to look upwards to communicate with me but that is what you get when you hang out with a flying friend. Although my perceptions are acute, the height tends to undermine common occurrences amongst walking people. Therefore I sometimes seem to ‘miss’ things, but that’s a misunderstanding for I perceive everything. I just tend not to dwell or analyse it unless specifically asked to.
Flying exercises:
Run and jump: A fun exercise and the best for novices, wherever you are just run forwards to gather momentum and then jump straight ahead adjusting your body horizontally. The air and the momentum will help you float and momentarily push you quite further. Once safely in the air push your body towards the direction you want to move. If you keep finding yourself in the ground, repeat as necessary.
Just jump: Once you get accustomed to flying a simple jump will get you flying in no time. As you progress you will find that the transition becomes almost effortless and seamless.
Tuesday, 21 February 2006
Apophenia
Give APOPHENIA a chance (for pete’s sake)
As I am progressing through my astral projection techniques, I’m slowly but steadily making progress. I might not have had a complete conscious OBE yet, but I’m quite close to it I know it. My dreams have become more symbolic lately. I’m noticing synchronicity and telepathy all around… As I said I’m perhaps just trying to see patterns where there are none, but as a true sufferer of apophenia, I’d rather think there are. Anyway part of the whole experience of astral projecting, is that you do discover patterns and symbols in your life all around. This apophenic experience one may feel on the physical plane happens because you tune yourself towards the higher, implicated planes where symbolism, unity and synchronicity prevail. So, although from a physical perspective those patterns you see might not be altogether valid, from an astral perspective it is just the first step to your “initiation” as a conscious astral entity. Henceforth, if you manage to reach a high spiritual state in the astral plane while still well and living in the physical plane, you will no longer be an astral body trapped in a physical body, but an astral body that uses the physical body merely as vehicle, for its own convenience and understanding. When you reach this ‘driving’ state, you no longer see/feel the physical world solely with your physical eyes and 5 senses, but you use the higher medium of intuition and of course your third eye. This means that the world no longer makes sense in its physicality or material substance, things are no longer things, ie. they are no longer separate from each other. And this is what the astral ‘eyes’ achieve really, they diminish the separations between things and rather concentrate on the connections between things. These infinite connections between things are the only things that matter from the astral perspective. Everything in the astral plane is connected and coherent, and so will the physical world manifest itself (perhaps only partly) as you develop you astral understanding. Enter the world of implications, meaning, symbolism, and non-causality. Can’t get better than that now can it.
As I am progressing through my astral projection techniques, I’m slowly but steadily making progress. I might not have had a complete conscious OBE yet, but I’m quite close to it I know it. My dreams have become more symbolic lately. I’m noticing synchronicity and telepathy all around… As I said I’m perhaps just trying to see patterns where there are none, but as a true sufferer of apophenia, I’d rather think there are. Anyway part of the whole experience of astral projecting, is that you do discover patterns and symbols in your life all around. This apophenic experience one may feel on the physical plane happens because you tune yourself towards the higher, implicated planes where symbolism, unity and synchronicity prevail. So, although from a physical perspective those patterns you see might not be altogether valid, from an astral perspective it is just the first step to your “initiation” as a conscious astral entity. Henceforth, if you manage to reach a high spiritual state in the astral plane while still well and living in the physical plane, you will no longer be an astral body trapped in a physical body, but an astral body that uses the physical body merely as vehicle, for its own convenience and understanding. When you reach this ‘driving’ state, you no longer see/feel the physical world solely with your physical eyes and 5 senses, but you use the higher medium of intuition and of course your third eye. This means that the world no longer makes sense in its physicality or material substance, things are no longer things, ie. they are no longer separate from each other. And this is what the astral ‘eyes’ achieve really, they diminish the separations between things and rather concentrate on the connections between things. These infinite connections between things are the only things that matter from the astral perspective. Everything in the astral plane is connected and coherent, and so will the physical world manifest itself (perhaps only partly) as you develop you astral understanding. Enter the world of implications, meaning, symbolism, and non-causality. Can’t get better than that now can it.
Thursday, 16 February 2006
MRK vs. HemiSync
Hemi-Sync® Gateway affirmation
I am more than my physical body. Because I am more than physical matter, I can perceive that which is greater than the physical world. Therefore, I deeply desire to Expand, to Experience; to Know, to Understand; to Control, to Use such greater energies and energy systems as may be beneficial and constructive to me and to those who follow me. Also, I deeply desire the help and cooperation, the assistance, the understanding of those individuals whose wisdom, development, and experience are equal to or greater than my own. I ask their guidance and protection from any influence or any source that might provide me with less than my stated desires.
Vs.
MRK Exit DEaffirmation™
Thought you were special. Thought you were different. But maybe I’m just suffering from apophenia – seeing connections and patterns where there are none, or perhaps it’s just a passive side effect of synchronicity. Procrastination and internalisation. Black holes in my aura. Wish for regression, wish for projection. Need to realign. Complete annihilation. I have come, I have seen, and now it’s time to exit. I need the key, the answer, the truth. I know that I will find the answer there; I know it won’t make things easier, but at least it will be a starting point. I need to access to my Akashic records. I need to heal myself and others. I need to regain my memories and thus rejoin my family. I am a lost star seed, wishing to go back home.
I am more than my physical body. Because I am more than physical matter, I can perceive that which is greater than the physical world. Therefore, I deeply desire to Expand, to Experience; to Know, to Understand; to Control, to Use such greater energies and energy systems as may be beneficial and constructive to me and to those who follow me. Also, I deeply desire the help and cooperation, the assistance, the understanding of those individuals whose wisdom, development, and experience are equal to or greater than my own. I ask their guidance and protection from any influence or any source that might provide me with less than my stated desires.
Vs.
MRK Exit DEaffirmation™
Thought you were special. Thought you were different. But maybe I’m just suffering from apophenia – seeing connections and patterns where there are none, or perhaps it’s just a passive side effect of synchronicity. Procrastination and internalisation. Black holes in my aura. Wish for regression, wish for projection. Need to realign. Complete annihilation. I have come, I have seen, and now it’s time to exit. I need the key, the answer, the truth. I know that I will find the answer there; I know it won’t make things easier, but at least it will be a starting point. I need to access to my Akashic records. I need to heal myself and others. I need to regain my memories and thus rejoin my family. I am a lost star seed, wishing to go back home.
Tuesday, 7 February 2006
Dual*Conceivablle
*DUALconsciousness
Last night I experienced a state of dual consciousness during an astral projected lucid dream. My guardians presented me with my own brain to demonstrate how I was experiencing a dual consciousness. I was outside my brain in a more subtle physical existence, a more lucid one and a more fluid one, it felt like I was made out of liquid, but quite thicker than water. My brain was presented as a display in a museum, it too possessed this fluid, LSD-like, appearance. It was brought to my attention by my guardians (although they are now but shadows in my memory, although I do remember their giving hands) that I was in fact outside my brain looking at it, yet at the same time it thinks, which means that I think. Suddenly my brain started thinking, “I have astral projected, I must remember this when I wake up.” It is a paradox but I had in fact witnessed myself/mybrain thinking from a third perspective, as if I was not my brain, or more like my brain had been objectified and diminished below the true intelligence of the astral existence. As soon as my brain started to think independently of me, it started witnessing me – the brainless me. So in effect, I was watching myself watching myself. It is very difficult to explain – imagine looking yourself at the mirror, while you are simultaneously behind the mirror looking at yourself through the mirror. This state didn’t last for long as I (which part of I?) tried to concentrate more on recording the incident so that I could remember it when I wake up. I still have bad memory issues with my astral projections, but obviously I’m working on it, and it has paid off last night. Was it an astral projection or perhaps a wishful dream? No one can really tell at this point, but this is just my physical self that is constantly questioning here.
Last night I experienced a state of dual consciousness during an astral projected lucid dream. My guardians presented me with my own brain to demonstrate how I was experiencing a dual consciousness. I was outside my brain in a more subtle physical existence, a more lucid one and a more fluid one, it felt like I was made out of liquid, but quite thicker than water. My brain was presented as a display in a museum, it too possessed this fluid, LSD-like, appearance. It was brought to my attention by my guardians (although they are now but shadows in my memory, although I do remember their giving hands) that I was in fact outside my brain looking at it, yet at the same time it thinks, which means that I think. Suddenly my brain started thinking, “I have astral projected, I must remember this when I wake up.” It is a paradox but I had in fact witnessed myself/mybrain thinking from a third perspective, as if I was not my brain, or more like my brain had been objectified and diminished below the true intelligence of the astral existence. As soon as my brain started to think independently of me, it started witnessing me – the brainless me. So in effect, I was watching myself watching myself. It is very difficult to explain – imagine looking yourself at the mirror, while you are simultaneously behind the mirror looking at yourself through the mirror. This state didn’t last for long as I (which part of I?) tried to concentrate more on recording the incident so that I could remember it when I wake up. I still have bad memory issues with my astral projections, but obviously I’m working on it, and it has paid off last night. Was it an astral projection or perhaps a wishful dream? No one can really tell at this point, but this is just my physical self that is constantly questioning here.
*unCONCEIVABLE
It is interesting how always in the Eastern based philosophies, but also in the more modern alternate reality investigations, there always seems to be an unconceivable plane – what some people call God. See, the highest ever plane for someone to reach is the Soul Plane, or Soul residence. This is the true home of the soul, the source, and the only plane that is indestructible. But deeper in the centre of the soul plane lie another 3 planes that no one can access. First is the invisible area, so you can’t even see it, then inside it is the forbidden area and then the ultimate centre is the anonymous centre. Quite a nice collection of names there, particularly… friendly. What is God hiding anyway? Those three planes are meant to be inconceivable, inaccessible, unborn, unlimited etc. etc. So we agree to some sort of dictatorship here – although its citizens might be more than willing. See the citizens of Soul City, have ultimate knowledge – they know what is beyond their own plane simple because otherwise we wouldn’t have this information ourselves. They are very content with the condition of things, they realise the importance of purpose and of the karmic journey, they exist in inconceivably higher states of consciousness and morality, they are the true infinites. When you reach infinity I guess you are a god, so there is no reason for you to question anything, in fact you have no questions whatsoever. It still bugs me though, why should the source remain inaccessible? One explanation could be that this ‘source’ is not really the ultimate source. Perhaps and most probably there is a post-cosmic plan beyond the reaches of our knowledge. Perhaps ‘God’, this anonymous centre, is just one of many of these consciousness ‘balls’ that exist in a post-conscious environment (as previously discussed). Now that is truly an unconceivable state, a supra-deus state. What I mean by post-conscious is the very fact that, ‘God’ in the eastern philosophies and plane theories is pure consciousness – that is the ultimate goal after all. No matter, no thoughts, no time/space, just pure consciousness. Everything is supposed to be made by consciousness, it is the stuff that God is made of let’s say. In a post-conscious state pure consciousness is not the ultimate existence, in a post-conscious state consciousness coexists with other forms of ‘being.’ Clearly therefore it is very much possible that we are just intrinsic properties of consciousness, we are in effect, consciousness interacting with consciousness within a medium of consciousness. To make things clear I have made these diagrams. On the left you can see the body of god and its various parts: matter (like our universe), subtle matter (astral planes, causal planes etc.), then the indestructible Soul residence surrounding the source. Now, all these planes are created and sustained by the ultimate consciousness, and are hence all made out of consciousness. All this in its infinite totality maybe called GOOOOD. Now on the right we see the probability of loads of these gods – the black environment that surrounds them is the post-conscious universe, a state that mere products of consciousness like us can never, ever conceive. Now that’s what I call UNCONCEIVABLE.
It is interesting how always in the Eastern based philosophies, but also in the more modern alternate reality investigations, there always seems to be an unconceivable plane – what some people call God. See, the highest ever plane for someone to reach is the Soul Plane, or Soul residence. This is the true home of the soul, the source, and the only plane that is indestructible. But deeper in the centre of the soul plane lie another 3 planes that no one can access. First is the invisible area, so you can’t even see it, then inside it is the forbidden area and then the ultimate centre is the anonymous centre. Quite a nice collection of names there, particularly… friendly. What is God hiding anyway? Those three planes are meant to be inconceivable, inaccessible, unborn, unlimited etc. etc. So we agree to some sort of dictatorship here – although its citizens might be more than willing. See the citizens of Soul City, have ultimate knowledge – they know what is beyond their own plane simple because otherwise we wouldn’t have this information ourselves. They are very content with the condition of things, they realise the importance of purpose and of the karmic journey, they exist in inconceivably higher states of consciousness and morality, they are the true infinites. When you reach infinity I guess you are a god, so there is no reason for you to question anything, in fact you have no questions whatsoever. It still bugs me though, why should the source remain inaccessible? One explanation could be that this ‘source’ is not really the ultimate source. Perhaps and most probably there is a post-cosmic plan beyond the reaches of our knowledge. Perhaps ‘God’, this anonymous centre, is just one of many of these consciousness ‘balls’ that exist in a post-conscious environment (as previously discussed). Now that is truly an unconceivable state, a supra-deus state. What I mean by post-conscious is the very fact that, ‘God’ in the eastern philosophies and plane theories is pure consciousness – that is the ultimate goal after all. No matter, no thoughts, no time/space, just pure consciousness. Everything is supposed to be made by consciousness, it is the stuff that God is made of let’s say. In a post-conscious state pure consciousness is not the ultimate existence, in a post-conscious state consciousness coexists with other forms of ‘being.’ Clearly therefore it is very much possible that we are just intrinsic properties of consciousness, we are in effect, consciousness interacting with consciousness within a medium of consciousness. To make things clear I have made these diagrams. On the left you can see the body of god and its various parts: matter (like our universe), subtle matter (astral planes, causal planes etc.), then the indestructible Soul residence surrounding the source. Now, all these planes are created and sustained by the ultimate consciousness, and are hence all made out of consciousness. All this in its infinite totality maybe called GOOOOD. Now on the right we see the probability of loads of these gods – the black environment that surrounds them is the post-conscious universe, a state that mere products of consciousness like us can never, ever conceive. Now that’s what I call UNCONCEIVABLE.
Sunday, 5 February 2006
PostThoughts
A general feeling of euphoria. Nothing has changed – yet all is accepted. One looks for a meaning and one then finds none. Contemplation finally brings about the revelation: there is no meaning in meaning, yet meaning is all there is. In other words, you don’t have to look for meaning or purpose, it’s all in front of you, or the absence thereof. You just, live, as an outsider, an outcast, a ghost, an observer, a thought form. Perhaps, you are too far ahead for anybody to understand you, perhaps you are just talking a completely different language, or occupying completely different dimensions. But let’s face it – the chances for your growth and success in the general public are very much, slim. Perhaps you are in a minority of people? A minority of let’s say… 1.4%? And anyway in this world, even the winners are losers in the end. I guess you just try to make what’s best for you from your outside surroundings. Just like a caveman would have to improvise to I dunno make fire or hunt or make tools or whatever to make his sodding life easier – so do you just hang on from things, knobs, table tops to make your life as easier as possible until death finally comes. You are not special, you are just… different. A mistake of evolution, an old sole, the bottom of the food chain? Is it perhaps time to look inwards? To search for new, better realities perhaps, or even enhance our very personalities. Maybe you are a star seed, a recurrent soul that awaits for things to change. Whatever you do, don’t do drugs. Drugs are bad, seriously. Then again some LSD is always good to convince anybody about the higher realms of reality. So is K for a near-death experience, or lots and lots of skunk in combination with HemiSync® brainwaves. Now that’s a treat. But seriously if you can remain sober… the better for you. Anyway, I’m depressed that’s why I am giving a shpeal. Bye.
Friday, 3 February 2006
OLD SOLES
Are you an old sole?
The older you become karmically, the more weary you become of this world. Imagine having repeated hundreds of lives, over and over again repeating mistakes or creating new ones, feeling pain over and over again. It is indeed an awful state. The good news is that by now you have learned a lot of lessons and you are closer to ending your earthly duty – you have grown cynical, bored, desensitised. You are attracted to expanding your consciousness whether that be through meditation, drugs, HemiSync® brainwaves, technology, books, philosophy, the Internet. You’d rather live in your dreams than in ‘reality’. In fact your dreams tend to become what you choose to be reality whilst the physical world becomes a dream itself – you being one of its ghosts, haunting the earth, trying to find a way out. You are indeed closer to a ghost rather than a human being although you might now quite be aware that. People close to you (they’re not a lot) share the same concerns as you – you have probably shared hundreds of lives together and you feel that for each other. They too, in their own way, seek escape and quiet – some of them might resort to very drastic measures, others might fall into depression. Some might insist into assimilating into everyday life and fail miserably and others might simply try to kill themselves. In the end of the day, you are all outcasts.
R.G.C.
This is a crucial time – you have now reached a state of a Repetitive ‘Ghost’ Continuum, you must now consciously and willingly break apart from this world and its attractions (emotional, material, intellectual, etc.). Of course, you could always go with the flow and reach a lower astral plane in another 2-3 lifetimes, but then you risk being stuck there for a long time and risk coming back to earth also. I would suggest if you reach a lower astral plane, to ask for guidance for a route upwards – it won’t take long. As discussed before, even when you choose to go a certain path of let’s say more active disengagement from the material world it’s still part of the natural progression of life – you are not creating your destiny, you are fulfilling it. Yet at the same time it’s wholly up to you since at this matter reflexivity always prevails. Therefore, destiny should be regarded as something that we completely control yet it somehow is predestined. So, why not things make easier and faster for you – if you are attracted to disengagement, then you should better do something about it.
Negotiation Period
Must clarify that an attraction to disengagement has nothing to do with an attraction to death. This is quite the opposite of death – a place of almost infinity and high sense of morality, not a lot of people are ready for such a place. Also there is no need for death to disengage, you can leave your physical body whenever and return back – this should be seen as a kind of liaise with the higher planes. In other words, now that you have reached close to the end of your physical existence, you must start negotiations with the higher forces. Once you have achieved clear communication with your guardians, protectors, friends, etc, you can visit your Akashic Records and see what’s up with your life, like your past lives, your future etc. If you see that there is a future life in your future, you might be able to negotiate it and evade it, you might also actually like the idea of that next life and go for it.
Lucid Hints
Once you start practicing this disengagement and establishment of communication, you will immediately see results. Your dreams will become more and more lucid and quite prophetic. This is because in the early stages you are granted only partial memory. That means that you might be actually astral projecting every night but you simply don’t remember the action of projection – although you might remember other things that happened later on. The things you do remember when you wake up are usually the most important bits of the whole journey. For example lets say in the course of your journey you have reached your Akashic Records and perhaps willed to see your future in 100 years. When accessing Akashic Records, you actually ‘live’ the events as they will happen in something that can be only compared to a very real Virtual Reality room. When you later wake up you might remember only a flash from the future and nothing of what led to it. This partial memory was left because perhaps a certain event in your future had impressed you but since you have no memory of what it actually represents, you disregard it as a random dream. When you have recollection of lucid dreams it means that you are on your way. You should try to ‘wake up’ in your lucid dreams and take complete control of the dream, including its memory imprinting. For example I had a recent dream of a cat being hurt, I instantly awoke in my dream and healed it with white light, in another occasion a cat protected me (obviously I have a cat-formed protector) from a foe and then wisped me to a distant future – clearly I had been guided by my protector to the Akashic Temple.
Saturday, 24 December 2005
Overview '05
***XMAS SPECIAL***
So I’ve been having a pre-depression syndrome for quite a while now – and I’d been eagerly expecting the depression to come, but it wouldn’t which was really frustrating. But yes ladies and gentlemen!! The depression has arrived today!! Obviously Xmas Eve, my depressions really love special events, esp. Xmas and Birthdays. Why do I get depressed on these festive days? It’s really simple really, they’re just reminders of TIME. I mean, when you are living in your ordinary routine then there’s no real sense of time, as days, well, repeat themselves more or less. But then Xmas comes and you’re like… woah.. a year has passed – and what have I achieved? NOTHING. Or your Birthday comes and you’re like… woah… I am 22 and where am I? NOWHERE. And this is just the introspective part of festive seasons, wait till you get to the retrospective part… that’s a blast!! I don’t even have to think about past Xmases or past Birthdays as such – just the negative connotations these words have picked up over the years are enough. No this ain’t gonna be a retrospective entry – I don’t wanna look like I’m over-complaining.
The Xmas Spirit.
So, as I said, anniversaries are all about… TIME. Tic toc tic toc tic toc. And what best way to recap the year than reading ALL the blog from start to finish? So I have looked over myself this year – through the blog’s point of view at least – and I have noticed some universal themes in my writing. First and foremost, is purpose which is strongly related to the second theme which is the feeling of emptiness which is again closely related to the third theme which is the lack of meaning. Cynicism and sarcasm are also primary themes as well as hints of narcissism, grandiose/religious thinking, borderline disorder, addictive behaviour, miserabilia, triviality, asexuality or desexuality(*general aversion to sex, the act of being unsexed), nihilism, disillusionment, disappointment, anti-social/misanthropism, paranoia, anger, homophobia, heterophobia, racism, boredom, delusions, illusions, second-guessing, indecision, fatigue, suicidal tendencies, schizoid behaviour, attachment to pets, pre-occupation with past traumatic experiences. This last one is truly a downer – although I had made tremendous success in getting over things in a very intense “de-cynicism covered with cynicism” experience in 2004, I haven’t made any progress since. The stuff are well buried in my head and they keep poking at me. Poke poke poke. So annoying!! I do not want to think about it anymore, I do not want to be the person who experienced that, I do not want to be defined by that. But it just keeps coming up and its then when I realise that I am never going to get over this – and I’m never going to be normal – ever. And ok I mean, there’s nobody normal right? But you know what I mean… not so fucked up?
Be Positive (*cough*)
To balance the previous paragraph a bit, now I have to write down the positive things that happened this year. Shit. Let’s see… ok… I learned 3d which is cool, and generally my design abilities are getting better by the hour although I wish was better. I had something like a year of celibacy now? Is that a good thing? Hm.. umm.. I have become a bit more consistent with my meditations. I… brush my teeth twice or thrice a day now rather than once. I did work experience for a month and although it was very traumatising it’s good for my CV right? Ah… we discovered the Jung typology thing… that was fun. I enjoyed watching Star Trek the original series with Polz… Circus boy is moving along slowly but steadily… Shit I can’t do this!!!
Be Negative
Ok, that’s more like it. Let’s see… what BAD things happened this year?
MEN/SEX: Hahahahaa… That went well! Besides the most awful screws I had ever in my lifetime – there is also a slight possibility I got AIDS from Ugly guy #1, who basically sat on my cock while I was unconscious and then for a week after that I had the most weird fever. Then there was Carlos, or me trying to compromise and not have too many expectations from men or high standards… you might have noticed how I stopped talking about him, that’s because I stopped talking to him – I am such a bitch but there is no reason to complicate things, avoidance is the best policy in things like this. Obviously the worse was discovering that I have in fact become averse to sex. Now that pretty much solves the man situation doesn’t it? Well, not exactly – I am convinced that the right man will make me a bit sexual – at least for a while. God I’m such a girl.
BODY/MIND: Lol… fantastic I tell ya. Just read at this entry, I mean I’m oozing with positive energy!! Drugs ain’t helping… neither in my psychology nor in my physique – I am now officially spawning the crack-whore look.
WORK: After the one month work experience, I realised what it means to have a full-time job. And it’s awful, awful, awwwwful. I don’t wanna suffer for the rest of my life. Read more here.
SPIRITUAL ADVANCEMENT: Ok, I have made some progress this year on that, I came to understand some things that weren’t clear before and realised that this is the only possible path for me if I want to remain sane. BUT – I haven’t had any psychic revelations at all lately, and I haven’t heard voices in a loooong time. That’s worrying. Plus, I need to find a Master soon and I so can’t be bothered!
CREATIVITY: I have certainly become attached to creation – without that I wouldn’t have anything to do basically – so it’s basically what is keeping me alive. If I wasn’t a creator I would kill myself out of boredom – then again if I wasn’t a creator I would probably be a little bit more sociable. But yeah, I have come to appreciate its presence in my life and I have also appreciated my right hand, which is probably the most important part of my body.
PETS: Although the kitty was a great surprise and we love it to bits, the murder of my doggy kinda spoilt the fun :(((
Xmas FUN
Downstairs there’s people – people making Xmas dinner, and getting excited, watching tv, drinking, laughing etc. – I’m upstairs locked in my room. At some point I have to make a presence. But I have a plan!!! I am now smoking an ultra-huge spliff that will numb me as much as it is possible. I will go downstairs all smiley and cool like I have no other preoccupations in the world except make tzatziki. I will make the tzatziki and then sit with all the gang and laugh at their jokes, laugh at the TV’s jokes, make small talk, share our knowledge in celebrity outtakes and the shows we saw last night. In the mean time I will be slowly but steadily be pumping my organism with alcohol. A while before dinner I will be semi-tipsy and go up to my room for another shot of weed. The weed will help me to be hungry and enjoy the food while the alcohol will make me even more giggly. By the time we finish dinner I’d be so full, stoned and drunk that I will have opened my second pack of cigarettes. Smoking and drinking away, everyone will be finally pissed and happy. I will bring down the stash case and make an Xmas-sized spliff for everyone and then everyone will be stoooooned. Ok… I’m not even half way through the ultra-huge spliff and I’m already stoned as hell, so bye. Merry Xmas everyone!!!
So I’ve been having a pre-depression syndrome for quite a while now – and I’d been eagerly expecting the depression to come, but it wouldn’t which was really frustrating. But yes ladies and gentlemen!! The depression has arrived today!! Obviously Xmas Eve, my depressions really love special events, esp. Xmas and Birthdays. Why do I get depressed on these festive days? It’s really simple really, they’re just reminders of TIME. I mean, when you are living in your ordinary routine then there’s no real sense of time, as days, well, repeat themselves more or less. But then Xmas comes and you’re like… woah.. a year has passed – and what have I achieved? NOTHING. Or your Birthday comes and you’re like… woah… I am 22 and where am I? NOWHERE. And this is just the introspective part of festive seasons, wait till you get to the retrospective part… that’s a blast!! I don’t even have to think about past Xmases or past Birthdays as such – just the negative connotations these words have picked up over the years are enough. No this ain’t gonna be a retrospective entry – I don’t wanna look like I’m over-complaining.
The Xmas Spirit.
So, as I said, anniversaries are all about… TIME. Tic toc tic toc tic toc. And what best way to recap the year than reading ALL the blog from start to finish? So I have looked over myself this year – through the blog’s point of view at least – and I have noticed some universal themes in my writing. First and foremost, is purpose which is strongly related to the second theme which is the feeling of emptiness which is again closely related to the third theme which is the lack of meaning. Cynicism and sarcasm are also primary themes as well as hints of narcissism, grandiose/religious thinking, borderline disorder, addictive behaviour, miserabilia, triviality, asexuality or desexuality(*general aversion to sex, the act of being unsexed), nihilism, disillusionment, disappointment, anti-social/misanthropism, paranoia, anger, homophobia, heterophobia, racism, boredom, delusions, illusions, second-guessing, indecision, fatigue, suicidal tendencies, schizoid behaviour, attachment to pets, pre-occupation with past traumatic experiences. This last one is truly a downer – although I had made tremendous success in getting over things in a very intense “de-cynicism covered with cynicism” experience in 2004, I haven’t made any progress since. The stuff are well buried in my head and they keep poking at me. Poke poke poke. So annoying!! I do not want to think about it anymore, I do not want to be the person who experienced that, I do not want to be defined by that. But it just keeps coming up and its then when I realise that I am never going to get over this – and I’m never going to be normal – ever. And ok I mean, there’s nobody normal right? But you know what I mean… not so fucked up?
Be Positive (*cough*)
To balance the previous paragraph a bit, now I have to write down the positive things that happened this year. Shit. Let’s see… ok… I learned 3d which is cool, and generally my design abilities are getting better by the hour although I wish was better. I had something like a year of celibacy now? Is that a good thing? Hm.. umm.. I have become a bit more consistent with my meditations. I… brush my teeth twice or thrice a day now rather than once. I did work experience for a month and although it was very traumatising it’s good for my CV right? Ah… we discovered the Jung typology thing… that was fun. I enjoyed watching Star Trek the original series with Polz… Circus boy is moving along slowly but steadily… Shit I can’t do this!!!
Be Negative
Ok, that’s more like it. Let’s see… what BAD things happened this year?
MEN/SEX: Hahahahaa… That went well! Besides the most awful screws I had ever in my lifetime – there is also a slight possibility I got AIDS from Ugly guy #1, who basically sat on my cock while I was unconscious and then for a week after that I had the most weird fever. Then there was Carlos, or me trying to compromise and not have too many expectations from men or high standards… you might have noticed how I stopped talking about him, that’s because I stopped talking to him – I am such a bitch but there is no reason to complicate things, avoidance is the best policy in things like this. Obviously the worse was discovering that I have in fact become averse to sex. Now that pretty much solves the man situation doesn’t it? Well, not exactly – I am convinced that the right man will make me a bit sexual – at least for a while. God I’m such a girl.
BODY/MIND: Lol… fantastic I tell ya. Just read at this entry, I mean I’m oozing with positive energy!! Drugs ain’t helping… neither in my psychology nor in my physique – I am now officially spawning the crack-whore look.
WORK: After the one month work experience, I realised what it means to have a full-time job. And it’s awful, awful, awwwwful. I don’t wanna suffer for the rest of my life. Read more here.
SPIRITUAL ADVANCEMENT: Ok, I have made some progress this year on that, I came to understand some things that weren’t clear before and realised that this is the only possible path for me if I want to remain sane. BUT – I haven’t had any psychic revelations at all lately, and I haven’t heard voices in a loooong time. That’s worrying. Plus, I need to find a Master soon and I so can’t be bothered!
CREATIVITY: I have certainly become attached to creation – without that I wouldn’t have anything to do basically – so it’s basically what is keeping me alive. If I wasn’t a creator I would kill myself out of boredom – then again if I wasn’t a creator I would probably be a little bit more sociable. But yeah, I have come to appreciate its presence in my life and I have also appreciated my right hand, which is probably the most important part of my body.
PETS: Although the kitty was a great surprise and we love it to bits, the murder of my doggy kinda spoilt the fun :(((
Xmas FUN
Downstairs there’s people – people making Xmas dinner, and getting excited, watching tv, drinking, laughing etc. – I’m upstairs locked in my room. At some point I have to make a presence. But I have a plan!!! I am now smoking an ultra-huge spliff that will numb me as much as it is possible. I will go downstairs all smiley and cool like I have no other preoccupations in the world except make tzatziki. I will make the tzatziki and then sit with all the gang and laugh at their jokes, laugh at the TV’s jokes, make small talk, share our knowledge in celebrity outtakes and the shows we saw last night. In the mean time I will be slowly but steadily be pumping my organism with alcohol. A while before dinner I will be semi-tipsy and go up to my room for another shot of weed. The weed will help me to be hungry and enjoy the food while the alcohol will make me even more giggly. By the time we finish dinner I’d be so full, stoned and drunk that I will have opened my second pack of cigarettes. Smoking and drinking away, everyone will be finally pissed and happy. I will bring down the stash case and make an Xmas-sized spliff for everyone and then everyone will be stoooooned. Ok… I’m not even half way through the ultra-huge spliff and I’m already stoned as hell, so bye. Merry Xmas everyone!!!
Tuesday, 13 December 2005
-BOOK-
Tuesday the 13th, that’s an unlucky day where I come from, hence today I’m locked in the house. Anyway, I have a list of ideas for books that I plan to start writing on one point or another (like very long-term projects) and some that I have already started. The most recent one that I have started is the one about mother – a book I always wanted to write ever since my childhood just because she’s always been such a book character kind of person. Of course now in light with the more suicidal events the book has become even more dark and ugly, which is good obviously.
So… I’ve written some chapters, and I have laid out the first draft structure, and man its bleak! I don’t think anyone would read this, I mean chapters names like “Psychiatric Ward I” or “Hospital Bed II”, it’s some scary shit. Obviously the macabre themes will be balanced with a very cynic/sarcastic tone of voice – but cynicism in the end is what will make it even more miserable. But it is a very depressing story so maybe I should just play along? Or just scrap the whole thing. Would anybody read one of the most depressing stories of all time? It would make a good “The Hours” kind of movie, although that had a kind of good ending right? The Hours actually share some similarities with this story, I remember I was biting my nails when I was watching it. Suicidal mother, gay junkie son, suicidal mother escaping to a hotel room to kill herself, gay son finally killing himself. Nice movie indeed. Barfff!
Anyway, I’m going to start posting parts of the book when I feel like it, so watch this space. Share the misery!:)
So… I’ve written some chapters, and I have laid out the first draft structure, and man its bleak! I don’t think anyone would read this, I mean chapters names like “Psychiatric Ward I” or “Hospital Bed II”, it’s some scary shit. Obviously the macabre themes will be balanced with a very cynic/sarcastic tone of voice – but cynicism in the end is what will make it even more miserable. But it is a very depressing story so maybe I should just play along? Or just scrap the whole thing. Would anybody read one of the most depressing stories of all time? It would make a good “The Hours” kind of movie, although that had a kind of good ending right? The Hours actually share some similarities with this story, I remember I was biting my nails when I was watching it. Suicidal mother, gay junkie son, suicidal mother escaping to a hotel room to kill herself, gay son finally killing himself. Nice movie indeed. Barfff!
Anyway, I’m going to start posting parts of the book when I feel like it, so watch this space. Share the misery!:)
Tuesday, 22 November 2005
siamese twins
So I was watching this thing on TV about Siamese twins that are attached on the head so their brains are kind of attached to each other. I mean its really freaky as it is – but there was this particular story that made such an impact.
It was these Siamese girls who are like the oldest Siamese twins alive around 44 years old, and who have, well, their heads stuck to each other. It gets pretty uncomfy as it is, but wait there’s more, one of the twins is impaired also, so the other one who is fine has to carry the other one around as she can’t walk at all. She’s also one fat-ass motherfucker, which means that the strong sister is very butch and muscular so she can carry the fat one. (they’re both fat but she’s like this weird kind of obesity, she looks like a pancake) Obviously this kind of relationship between siblings is quite fucked up. For example they play this game where the fat-ass one pretends to be a baby and the butch one pretends to be its mother – which clearly reflects their relationship also. The butch one is also quite antisocial whilst the impaired fat-ass one wants to have a career in singing (??) so she drags her poor sister around to gigs where she has to stand there STUCK on her sister while she sings hideously – and then she has to carry her back home. I mean what an unfortunate existence these two. It is indeed amazing how strong they are and how they are trying to lead as much ‘normal’ lives as they can.
Anyway, my point was imagine this people’s karma. I mean they have obviously plotted this whole thing from before – why would they choose such an existence? They obviously had a lover relationship in their previous life and this is the clarification of their relationship… but why so drastic measures? The whole symbolism of one having to carry the other one around is just biblical. The butch one is obviously paying more karma here while the other one is being taken care of. Forcing your very existence to be so intertwined with another clearly indicates a very concentrated karma – and a very radical one. They have chosen to be truly miserable, ugly, fat and freaks – and together they have chosen to go through this. Perhaps an example of twin souls gone wrong? Two souls trying to understand each other – to be one another – physically and literally. That is such a weird concept.
It was these Siamese girls who are like the oldest Siamese twins alive around 44 years old, and who have, well, their heads stuck to each other. It gets pretty uncomfy as it is, but wait there’s more, one of the twins is impaired also, so the other one who is fine has to carry the other one around as she can’t walk at all. She’s also one fat-ass motherfucker, which means that the strong sister is very butch and muscular so she can carry the fat one. (they’re both fat but she’s like this weird kind of obesity, she looks like a pancake) Obviously this kind of relationship between siblings is quite fucked up. For example they play this game where the fat-ass one pretends to be a baby and the butch one pretends to be its mother – which clearly reflects their relationship also. The butch one is also quite antisocial whilst the impaired fat-ass one wants to have a career in singing (??) so she drags her poor sister around to gigs where she has to stand there STUCK on her sister while she sings hideously – and then she has to carry her back home. I mean what an unfortunate existence these two. It is indeed amazing how strong they are and how they are trying to lead as much ‘normal’ lives as they can.
Anyway, my point was imagine this people’s karma. I mean they have obviously plotted this whole thing from before – why would they choose such an existence? They obviously had a lover relationship in their previous life and this is the clarification of their relationship… but why so drastic measures? The whole symbolism of one having to carry the other one around is just biblical. The butch one is obviously paying more karma here while the other one is being taken care of. Forcing your very existence to be so intertwined with another clearly indicates a very concentrated karma – and a very radical one. They have chosen to be truly miserable, ugly, fat and freaks – and together they have chosen to go through this. Perhaps an example of twin souls gone wrong? Two souls trying to understand each other – to be one another – physically and literally. That is such a weird concept.
Tuesday, 15 November 2005
Miserabilia II
So there was this program just now on BBC2 about happiness – in scientific terms, and how to achieve it with scientific techniques based on said statistical data and psychological research. This is quite an interesting approach, but it lacks the very essence it is fighting against, the governing law of Miserabilia (MB). As Schopenhauer said, “The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom.” And clearly whatever you do, these things will always remain there – no matter how much you try to relieve the pain, and occupy yourself so as to avoid boredom. Instead, you get this amoeboid multiplication, where the trials for relieving pain become pain themselves, and the occupations you put yourself in to avoid boredom, become boring. So it is quite a vicious circle, and a down-going. That is indeed the slow death.
Just watching this program was depressing, and it was about finding happiness! It was so depressing as the basic message that comes out of it is the opposite that it is venturing to transmit – it unwillingly and unwittingly reinforces the law of Miserabilia. That means, that whatever you do, however much you try you will still be miserable!
Science as Religion
The scientists at the program used various techniques to promote happiness in one of Britain’s statistically unhappy towns, Slough. Some of these psychologists/sociologists – almost seemed to be preaching the concept/state of happiness. This preaching almost, dare I say, had a religious quality to it signifying a sociological shift that has been on exponential rise ever since the 80s – socio-psychological science is establishing itself as a new religious organisation, based on ‘fact’ which is itself based on scientific research and statistical data. Since the advent of time, science has always falsely taken itself too seriously and regimentally, almost dogmatically which reinforces this religious aspect. The dogmatic nature of the concept of Happiness is what eventually diminishes its very point – as anything dogmatic is usually explained inadequately and pedantically – presenting itself as an unexplainable natural fact, and usually not based on clear logical form. For example, dictating that suicide is a bad thing is purely dogmatic for there is no clear explanation to why it is wrong to take one’s life – and usually refers back to traditionally religious influences translated into modern science.
Happiness is also a dogma itself in this sense, as it does not really exist – it is merely the temporary absence of misery. Moments of euphoria and good spirits are short memory and chemically induced states that can be simulated with various legal (and illegal) drugs. Excess use of these medicine lead to the very opposite though, showing how one follows the other, or how one always governs and perhaps, allows the other.
Statistical Inadequecies
Statistical data, of the kind presented by the scientists are not very convincing. People tend to lie to themselves on this matter, or even submerge themselves in a state of faux-happiness, general numbness or even histrionic avoidance. To get valid statistical data one must analyse each individual extensively, something that questionnaires cannot simply cover. According to MB, “misery is embedded within human existence” hence instead of looking for evidence and statistical data, science should focus more on the obvious and tangible, that is misery and pain. It is indeed the driving force, yet science embodies this obscene optimism influenced by dogmatic ‘faith’ and ‘hope’.
Scientific Ceremonies
In the program they used various scientific techniques to promote happiness in a small community that had a very ceremonial almost paganistic reflection. Singing publicly was one technique, promoting large groups of people and community consciousness is another technique proved to bring good results. Being in nature, dancing and tree-hugging supposedly helps. Scientists also believe that the greatest reason for unhappiness is the fear of death – so psychological therapy is used that aims to accustoming people with death and how it is a natural process while promoting a feeling of euphoria and gratefulness for being ‘alive’. Others introduce basic rules like smiling everyday and doing good deeds, having conversations with friends and partners and having a good laugh. Still, these techniques have a main flaw – they only work at a very superficial level whereas there is always an underlying MB factor that fuels the need for happiness. In fact one of the major contributing factors of MB is the mere struggle for that unattainable, idealistic happiness.
Trivial Triviality
Just like love, happiness is a trivial term manufactured by mankind to name the unreachable, the impossible, an ideal condition that can never be but is always sought for. And there lies the great tragedy of mankind that leads to its eventual downfall. That need for the impossible, the opposite, the unnatural, the ideal, the fatalistic, indeed the dogmatic. This need is what fuels life, it is its purpose. Without it one would have no reason to live – so we basically structure our whole lives around something that will never be or never was. A myth that keeps you going, just like love, God, wisdom, infinity etc.
Miserabilia vs. Triviality
The Miserabilia Law, takes things from a different perspective. Instead of promoting obscene lying towards one’s self and promising imaginary utopias – it suggests honesty and acceptance. It is ok to be miserable – there’s nothing you can do about it. You will never be happy, satisfied or content – that is just a fact of life. Accepting one’s MB will lead to a more calm, tolerant existence that is prepared for death, pain and misery, recognizing them as its natural necessary processes that aim for survival and spiritual growth. Indeed, there is a direct correlation of knowledge and happiness; the more knowledge and intelligence one obtains the more unhappy one is. This makes absolute sense – as knowledge grows so does the realisation of the MB factor. So one might say that yes, ignorance is bliss, but who in their right mind would choose ignorance over knowledge, despite the negative side effects?
Miserable-friendly society
MB promotes thirst for knowledge, thinking and logic and it aims to diminish trivial terms such as love, happiness, feeling, God, unless they are presented in an ironic context. The final form of advanced MB is therefore cynicism in its purest form, a power far much greater than the temporary trivial states of happiness and/or the obsessive compulsive behaviour for attaining happiness. In an MB society, suicide is widely accepted and promoted as a form of cleansing and rebirth. Suicide, though, in a fully regimented MB society is seen as an obstacle to the true purpose of life, that of knowledge and logic – and would therefore be avoided unless knowledge reaches a threshold of pure MB saturation. The state provides with leaflets and information on suicide, and government funded suicide centres are established where one can get suicide insurance and services. Suicide professionals prepare the applicants for a safe death, and arrange family group sessions where the applicant can explain and present his case. The applicant may then have the choice of euthanasia executed by himself or by a third party of his choice or a caring professional. Post-humous group sessions may also be arranged in cases of more applicants within a family. To maintain a stable work force, MB societies widely promote cloning, where an applicant might clone oneself or a partner. The clone receives equal rights as the applicant, and together they obtain a social contract with tax relief. Clone_parent relationships are introduced, where one can have a literally physical relationship with oneself, one learning from another, in a divide and conquer kind of strategy. A gloomy, purple society, with neon bats flying in the streets, and where the sun never rises. Large white statues cast shadows across the landscape and the buildings are all post-modern. All people are grumpy and perfectionists, but with a killer fashion sense. How fab!
Just watching this program was depressing, and it was about finding happiness! It was so depressing as the basic message that comes out of it is the opposite that it is venturing to transmit – it unwillingly and unwittingly reinforces the law of Miserabilia. That means, that whatever you do, however much you try you will still be miserable!
Science as Religion
The scientists at the program used various techniques to promote happiness in one of Britain’s statistically unhappy towns, Slough. Some of these psychologists/sociologists – almost seemed to be preaching the concept/state of happiness. This preaching almost, dare I say, had a religious quality to it signifying a sociological shift that has been on exponential rise ever since the 80s – socio-psychological science is establishing itself as a new religious organisation, based on ‘fact’ which is itself based on scientific research and statistical data. Since the advent of time, science has always falsely taken itself too seriously and regimentally, almost dogmatically which reinforces this religious aspect. The dogmatic nature of the concept of Happiness is what eventually diminishes its very point – as anything dogmatic is usually explained inadequately and pedantically – presenting itself as an unexplainable natural fact, and usually not based on clear logical form. For example, dictating that suicide is a bad thing is purely dogmatic for there is no clear explanation to why it is wrong to take one’s life – and usually refers back to traditionally religious influences translated into modern science.
Happiness is also a dogma itself in this sense, as it does not really exist – it is merely the temporary absence of misery. Moments of euphoria and good spirits are short memory and chemically induced states that can be simulated with various legal (and illegal) drugs. Excess use of these medicine lead to the very opposite though, showing how one follows the other, or how one always governs and perhaps, allows the other.
Statistical Inadequecies
Statistical data, of the kind presented by the scientists are not very convincing. People tend to lie to themselves on this matter, or even submerge themselves in a state of faux-happiness, general numbness or even histrionic avoidance. To get valid statistical data one must analyse each individual extensively, something that questionnaires cannot simply cover. According to MB, “misery is embedded within human existence” hence instead of looking for evidence and statistical data, science should focus more on the obvious and tangible, that is misery and pain. It is indeed the driving force, yet science embodies this obscene optimism influenced by dogmatic ‘faith’ and ‘hope’.
Scientific Ceremonies
In the program they used various scientific techniques to promote happiness in a small community that had a very ceremonial almost paganistic reflection. Singing publicly was one technique, promoting large groups of people and community consciousness is another technique proved to bring good results. Being in nature, dancing and tree-hugging supposedly helps. Scientists also believe that the greatest reason for unhappiness is the fear of death – so psychological therapy is used that aims to accustoming people with death and how it is a natural process while promoting a feeling of euphoria and gratefulness for being ‘alive’. Others introduce basic rules like smiling everyday and doing good deeds, having conversations with friends and partners and having a good laugh. Still, these techniques have a main flaw – they only work at a very superficial level whereas there is always an underlying MB factor that fuels the need for happiness. In fact one of the major contributing factors of MB is the mere struggle for that unattainable, idealistic happiness.
Trivial Triviality
Just like love, happiness is a trivial term manufactured by mankind to name the unreachable, the impossible, an ideal condition that can never be but is always sought for. And there lies the great tragedy of mankind that leads to its eventual downfall. That need for the impossible, the opposite, the unnatural, the ideal, the fatalistic, indeed the dogmatic. This need is what fuels life, it is its purpose. Without it one would have no reason to live – so we basically structure our whole lives around something that will never be or never was. A myth that keeps you going, just like love, God, wisdom, infinity etc.
Miserabilia vs. Triviality
The Miserabilia Law, takes things from a different perspective. Instead of promoting obscene lying towards one’s self and promising imaginary utopias – it suggests honesty and acceptance. It is ok to be miserable – there’s nothing you can do about it. You will never be happy, satisfied or content – that is just a fact of life. Accepting one’s MB will lead to a more calm, tolerant existence that is prepared for death, pain and misery, recognizing them as its natural necessary processes that aim for survival and spiritual growth. Indeed, there is a direct correlation of knowledge and happiness; the more knowledge and intelligence one obtains the more unhappy one is. This makes absolute sense – as knowledge grows so does the realisation of the MB factor. So one might say that yes, ignorance is bliss, but who in their right mind would choose ignorance over knowledge, despite the negative side effects?
Miserable-friendly society
MB promotes thirst for knowledge, thinking and logic and it aims to diminish trivial terms such as love, happiness, feeling, God, unless they are presented in an ironic context. The final form of advanced MB is therefore cynicism in its purest form, a power far much greater than the temporary trivial states of happiness and/or the obsessive compulsive behaviour for attaining happiness. In an MB society, suicide is widely accepted and promoted as a form of cleansing and rebirth. Suicide, though, in a fully regimented MB society is seen as an obstacle to the true purpose of life, that of knowledge and logic – and would therefore be avoided unless knowledge reaches a threshold of pure MB saturation. The state provides with leaflets and information on suicide, and government funded suicide centres are established where one can get suicide insurance and services. Suicide professionals prepare the applicants for a safe death, and arrange family group sessions where the applicant can explain and present his case. The applicant may then have the choice of euthanasia executed by himself or by a third party of his choice or a caring professional. Post-humous group sessions may also be arranged in cases of more applicants within a family. To maintain a stable work force, MB societies widely promote cloning, where an applicant might clone oneself or a partner. The clone receives equal rights as the applicant, and together they obtain a social contract with tax relief. Clone_parent relationships are introduced, where one can have a literally physical relationship with oneself, one learning from another, in a divide and conquer kind of strategy. A gloomy, purple society, with neon bats flying in the streets, and where the sun never rises. Large white statues cast shadows across the landscape and the buildings are all post-modern. All people are grumpy and perfectionists, but with a killer fashion sense. How fab!
Wednesday, 9 November 2005
autoSHRINK
In the not-so-very-far future, I will decide to go to a shrink. The name of the shrink will be Dr. Margaret. It is a woman obviously as I hate male shrinks – she’s around 35, pretty and motherly. She has quite a posh accent but is very accessible and ‘interested’. She always wears hues of green, and white flowery tops. Her make up is smooth and natural bringing out her beautiful eyes. Margaret ‘understands’. And she will be my new obsession/mother figure/mother-I-never-had type of thing with an obvious perverted sexual attraction towards her for at least a couple of years. This is how it will go. (add soothing female voice for DrM and detached robotic male voice for Mrk)
Clearly, I miss a good ol’ shrink.
DrM: So why did you feel like you needed a… psychologist?
Mrk: I’m addicted to you guys, you give that false but wonderful feeling of reassurement and comfort.DrM: You’ve seeked psychological help in the past?
Mrk: Well despite the fact that my mother was basically like my shrink during my childhood, I was first sent to professional “help” around the age of 15 to ‘cure’ my homosexuality. Obviously my parents needed the help and not me, but I used the time to talk about my general teenage problems and depression. Later on when my mother was going through a suicidal phase, I had to go through psychological support as well as disturbing group family sessions. When I arrived in England I quickly signed up on the university counselling service where I kind of got over the stuff with the suicides and all. And now you.DrM: So your mother attempted suicide?
Mrk: Yes, a number of times. She took a box of Xanax, she tried to hang her self, slit her wrists, jump off several buildings, and burnt herself completely deforming her body.DrM: (maintaining her calm) I am so sorry… That must have been a great burden for you.
Mrk: Yes, well, I’m getting over it and so is she.DrM: How do you feel when you talk about it now?
Mrk: I still find it quite disturbing, but in a detached sort of way, like a very scary tv show that I watched 5 years ago and I still can’t get it completely off my head.DrM: You don’t feel angry, or sad?
Mrk: No its just that general feeling of numbness, a bit sombre, gloomy…DrM: So is there something that is bothering you now?
Mrk: Well it’s just that! That gloomy feeling that I have in my life. Kind of like a dark mist weighing down on me. The futility of it all.DrM: You think that everything is futile?
Mrk: Well yea. I honestly don’t see the point in anything. Why work? Why live? I seem to have lost any objective or motive to go on. Yet I don’t mind living, it’s not that I want to die – if only there was some valid goal I could have my mind occupied with.DrM: What would be a valid goal?
Mrk: Something that I feel has a purpose. A purpose for what? Can anything have a purpose? I’m confused.DrM: You mean, you need something to keep you going, a purpose in life.
Mrk: Yes.DrM: Isn’t there something that you feel strongly about, something you could pursue?
Mrk: Well I like creating. I create just for the sake of creating, for example this imaginary dialogue is a form of creation, but I may also draw, illustrate, write other more interesting stuff etc… But I don’t see creation as a purpose, I only see it as a means to procrastinate, fill all this empty time really.DrM: Creation can be a very fulfilling experience.
Mrk: I know but only when you achieve recognition, and even then I will feel probably more empty than before.DrM: You keep repeating the word empty.
Mrk: Yea it seems to run as a theme in this imaginary dialogue/monologue hybrid.DrM: What about LOVE?
Mrk: (laughs hysterically)DrM: (makes cutesy wondering look)
Mrk: Well, does it exist? It is more imaginary than this dialogue.DrM: Time’s up I’m afraid. We will continue this another time.
Mrk: I LOVE YOU… ehm… I mean thank you heh.DrM: That will be £180 please. (ed. inflation)
Mrk: I have it already in direct debit no worries.DrM: Well, thank you very much Mrk it was very nice meeting you. (gives hand for handshake)
Mrk: (takes hand and affectionately caresses it) No, the pleasure was all mine Margaret.Clearly, I miss a good ol’ shrink.
Tuesday, 18 October 2005
ASTROBOLLOX
This is my natal chart… it is very interesting isn’t it? Everything is concentrated in the last 5 signs, and especially Pisces and Aquarius. I have Piscean Sun, Lilith and second house, while I have Aquarian ascendant, Mercury and Venus! This makes quite a bizarre combination and if that wasn’t enough it is coupled with Capricorn Moon, Jupiter, Neptune and 9th house.
It seems I have a tendency to avoid the harsh realities either through escapist behavior or self-delusion. This leads to me retreating into my own world, self-pitying and giving pep talks to myself ("Everybody’s Miserable!"). But these periods are rather short-lived and even useful. Pisces seems to derive energy from their (generally short) bouts of self-pity.
Ready to Aqua *******
“INTPs are introverted rationals like the Masterminds but use perceptivity instead of judgment as a preferred method of processing information. These rationals may fare better in the transition from Piscean to Aquarian Age as perceptivity is a quality of Pisces while judgment is a quality of Aquarius.” My powerful Pisces-Aquarius combo – signifies just that – the transition from Piscean to Aquarian. This means that I am in tune with the change of times that earth is going through right now. The difference being that my ascendance in comparison to earth’s ascendance is much more rapid due to scale obviously, which means that I am indeed ahead of my time. Indeed it’s an Aquarian characteristic to feel ‘ahead of your time’.
The Vulcans are coming!
“Aquarians are the "gawky nerdy", "absent-minded professors" or mad scientists but the charateristics that better describe them are iconoclasm, emotional "hardness", bisexual, asexual or androgynous orientation, teambuilding, innovation and perhaps some social anarchy (from behavior that shocks conservative people to a general disregard for rules).” These characteristics also describe the age we are entering right now, and one can say that Earth is going to become fully Uranian or in trekkie terms… Vulcan. Already we are seeing Uranian/Aquarian side-effects such as the re-emergence of a rejuvenated third sex that is fully adaptable to the technologically oriented Aquarian age.
It’s the Future!!
“In addition, we may see a gradual replacement of the icon of Jesus with something that is indicative of Aquarian values, such as the computer, the committee, the scientist, the group, the mind or the iconoclast.” Iconoclasm is also emerging with a vengeance, at least in Western societies and technology is booming. Cloning, artificial reproduction, genetic modification, computers, third sex/metrosexuality/male and female roles fade, globalization, space ventures, and most importantly elimination of emotion, passion and concepts of heroism and romantic love are characteristics of the Aquarian age. For me this future, despite its obvious disadvantages (panopticism, fully mediated environments, singularity) sounds so cool. That’s the kind of world I’d like to live in – I love technology, my sex is utterly confused in today’s terms, and I’m all up for the change of values. The Piscean values suck – I can understand and respect them, but it’s time we get out of the whole religious/war-like situation and embrace technology as our new religion. In true human manner we will indeed embrace technology and it will bite us in the ass so bad we will want to get rid of it. But until that happens I’ll be dead so I don’t really give a shit.
Apocalypse Now!
Of course all that will happen if we manage to miraculously survive what’s coming to us in 2012. The aliens from outer space are coming to save us, but there is a big possibility that we will kill them before they come to save us from our real enemy. And not only that, how are we going to survive the natural (and mechanical) disasters in the equinox precession period of 2004-2012? If we do, we will be for good into an Aquarian Golden Age of advanced bioetheric technology, social re-construction and advanced spiritual capabilities. The next years until 2012 are going to be a preparation for the big ‘test’ which may last up until 2160 – if humans manage to do that extra mile forward, and surpass themselves, they will be granted with the prosperous Vulcan age, if not then they will be extinct to let other life-forms advance where they have failed…
Quotes from:
http://www.bemyastrologer.com/age_of_aquarius.html
http://www.crystalinks.com/
http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/howtoobtainchart.html
Sunday, 16 October 2005
a poem
DRUUUUUUUUUUUGS
Oxygen makes you old.
Water makes you up.
Salt makes you stressed.
Chocolate makes you sexual.
Bananas give you spots.
Milk makes you queasy.
Fags make you cool.
Weed makes you imaginative.
Acid changes your perspective.
E makes you shiver.
Alcohol makes you sick.
Coke makes you bitchy.
K takes you out of this world.
Tuesday, 4 October 2005
MRKISM//Concept Order
This will be an updated list of universal truths as I experience them through meditation, lucid dreams and trances, as well as insights revealed from inspired books.
Law of Kitsch Nihilism:
Zero: Reality is a very complicated order of zero.
Fluidity: We are the creators of our reality
Vicious Circle: We constantly go through theoptosis and theogony.
Dimensions: There are infinite dimensions times infinite definitions of dimension:
Consciousness is the ultimate dimension that perceives or creates dimensions, that infinitely intercept each other creating infinite copies of one another, while being influenced by unthinkable terms beyond consciousness. Consciousness is all and zero.
Dimensions so far:
1. Subjective dimension –consciousness perceives a dimension
2. Interceptive dimension –consciousness intercepts itself
3. Thought dimension – consciousness creates a dimension
4. Holistic dimension – consciousness is a dimension
5. Infinite dimension – each dimension is a copy of itself
6. Dimension X – consciousness is intercepted and influenced by unthinkable terms beyond it.
7. True dimension – consciousness is all
8. Nihilistic dimension – consciousness is zero
We are comprised of multiple personalities/beings.
It is a natural/compulsory process to advance ‘spiritually’
Karmic Leaps – one for all and all for one
Infinity Cells – consciousness made out of consciousness made out of consciousness.
Law of Miserabilia: Misery is embedded within our very existence.
Law of Matter:
The material human brain is finite and predictable
Our world is as real as it is fake.
Matter is a product of consciousness.
Law of Hierarchy:
We are divided into 4 categories of villagers, traders, soldiers and philosophers.
Incomplete religions will take you up to a certain level/dimension.
Tips:
Love is not an emotion, it’s a state of selflessness. (eros » sticking together » unity » selflessness)
One must always be aware of the falseness of it all.
The goal of MRKISM is emptiness, nothingness, zero.
Thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations are all convertible energy.
Law of Kitsch Nihilism:
Zero: Reality is a very complicated order of zero.
Fluidity: We are the creators of our reality
Vicious Circle: We constantly go through theoptosis and theogony.
Dimensions: There are infinite dimensions times infinite definitions of dimension:
Consciousness is the ultimate dimension that perceives or creates dimensions, that infinitely intercept each other creating infinite copies of one another, while being influenced by unthinkable terms beyond consciousness. Consciousness is all and zero.
Dimensions so far:
1. Subjective dimension –consciousness perceives a dimension
2. Interceptive dimension –consciousness intercepts itself
3. Thought dimension – consciousness creates a dimension
4. Holistic dimension – consciousness is a dimension
5. Infinite dimension – each dimension is a copy of itself
6. Dimension X – consciousness is intercepted and influenced by unthinkable terms beyond it.
7. True dimension – consciousness is all
8. Nihilistic dimension – consciousness is zero
We are comprised of multiple personalities/beings.
It is a natural/compulsory process to advance ‘spiritually’
Karmic Leaps – one for all and all for one
Infinity Cells – consciousness made out of consciousness made out of consciousness.
Law of Miserabilia: Misery is embedded within our very existence.
Law of Matter:
The material human brain is finite and predictable
Our world is as real as it is fake.
Matter is a product of consciousness.
Law of Hierarchy:
We are divided into 4 categories of villagers, traders, soldiers and philosophers.
Incomplete religions will take you up to a certain level/dimension.
Tips:
Love is not an emotion, it’s a state of selflessness. (eros » sticking together » unity » selflessness)
One must always be aware of the falseness of it all.
The goal of MRKISM is emptiness, nothingness, zero.
Thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations are all convertible energy.
Miserabilia
A title that’s been hanging on a sticky for some time now… but I was waiting for the right time for it. You know, until I felt it. What is miserabilia? It is a law that governs human kind. The law of misery. See, people always strive for happiness. Why? Because they’re miserable. Do you know anybody who is REALLY, really, happy? I don’t think so. I keep having this fear that when I grow up I’ll be this miserable old man… but the truth is, 1) I’m miserable anyway and 2) I’ll always be miserable. So why be afraid? Should just accept it as a natural fact about life. Like death, there is pain, there is misery, and there is nothing you can do about it. Or is there? Why are we miserable? The list is long and infinite… where do I start?
Top20 Miserabilia
1. We are alone
2. We are alone in the universe
3. We are generally useless, meaningless.
4. We die
5. We grow old
6. We have minimum effect over our environment
7. We are dependent on our environment to survive
8. We get sick
9. We get mad
10. We get depressed
11. We don’t know anything
12. We are fucked up
13. We are dependent on others
14. We are lost
15. We kill each other
16. We hurt each other
17. Nobody understands us
18. We don’t know what we are doing
19. We are human
20. We are stupid
You may replace the ‘we are’ with ‘I am’ for more emphasis where applicable. So there you go. Can’t get any clearer than that. I don’t believe that there is anybody out there that won’t agree with at least 15 of these. In case there is a happy bunny reading this, then just go to points 15&16 and think.
Miserabilia Awareness
Religion does not apply and cannot influence the Miserabilia (MB) law. MBs run through the cortex of humanity, influencing us subtly but immensely. Humans with increased awareness of MB, may turn to narcotics, alcohol or sedatives. Others go mad and others go very very cynic. Some a combination of the above. Humans with lower awareness of MB, may experience delusions and erratic behaviour, saying bollocks like “life is beautiful” or “enjoy life” etc., whilst some are borderline wavering between the two.
Despite awareness level or not, MB affects man-kind throughout. And its existence is due to that something that we lack. Let’s try a fun inversion of the top 20 list and see what we miss: unity, universal unity, purpose, eternal life, youth, power, strength, immunity, clarity, happiness, knowledge, tranquillity, emotional strength, love, compassion, understanding, guidance, perfection, intelligence. Sounds about right, my impromptu list was good after all.
Taking control of misery
Need I say more? It’s obvious how miserable we are. Is it the need of wanting what one doesn’t have that leads us to misery? Well of course – we need more, we expect more of ourselves, from others etc, and that’s how we grow, thriving on misery. It helps us move on and on, trying to avoid it but never losing it. Miserabilia is about a moving process, a perpetuating one without ending – whereas concepts like wisdom, love, knowledge, tranquillity, all have a fatalistic/utopian outlook. Miserabilia is the driving force behind our every move. We use its power to avoid it – which is a conflicting action. If one faces one’s miserabilium, one will be granted insight into a new order of things. One will realise the inner purpose of miserabilia, and one will learn to work with it to succeed. Miserabilia doesn’t cease to be a force, an energy source, one that is with us a lot. So instead of engulfing yourself in it, use it, externalise it – and you will be granted undoubtedly new powers. Obviously one must become truly aware of the miserabilia factor in one’s life to be able to manipulate it.
Top20 Miserabilia
1. We are alone
2. We are alone in the universe
3. We are generally useless, meaningless.
4. We die
5. We grow old
6. We have minimum effect over our environment
7. We are dependent on our environment to survive
8. We get sick
9. We get mad
10. We get depressed
11. We don’t know anything
12. We are fucked up
13. We are dependent on others
14. We are lost
15. We kill each other
16. We hurt each other
17. Nobody understands us
18. We don’t know what we are doing
19. We are human
20. We are stupid
You may replace the ‘we are’ with ‘I am’ for more emphasis where applicable. So there you go. Can’t get any clearer than that. I don’t believe that there is anybody out there that won’t agree with at least 15 of these. In case there is a happy bunny reading this, then just go to points 15&16 and think.
Miserabilia Awareness
Religion does not apply and cannot influence the Miserabilia (MB) law. MBs run through the cortex of humanity, influencing us subtly but immensely. Humans with increased awareness of MB, may turn to narcotics, alcohol or sedatives. Others go mad and others go very very cynic. Some a combination of the above. Humans with lower awareness of MB, may experience delusions and erratic behaviour, saying bollocks like “life is beautiful” or “enjoy life” etc., whilst some are borderline wavering between the two.
Despite awareness level or not, MB affects man-kind throughout. And its existence is due to that something that we lack. Let’s try a fun inversion of the top 20 list and see what we miss: unity, universal unity, purpose, eternal life, youth, power, strength, immunity, clarity, happiness, knowledge, tranquillity, emotional strength, love, compassion, understanding, guidance, perfection, intelligence. Sounds about right, my impromptu list was good after all.
Taking control of misery
Need I say more? It’s obvious how miserable we are. Is it the need of wanting what one doesn’t have that leads us to misery? Well of course – we need more, we expect more of ourselves, from others etc, and that’s how we grow, thriving on misery. It helps us move on and on, trying to avoid it but never losing it. Miserabilia is about a moving process, a perpetuating one without ending – whereas concepts like wisdom, love, knowledge, tranquillity, all have a fatalistic/utopian outlook. Miserabilia is the driving force behind our every move. We use its power to avoid it – which is a conflicting action. If one faces one’s miserabilium, one will be granted insight into a new order of things. One will realise the inner purpose of miserabilia, and one will learn to work with it to succeed. Miserabilia doesn’t cease to be a force, an energy source, one that is with us a lot. So instead of engulfing yourself in it, use it, externalise it – and you will be granted undoubtedly new powers. Obviously one must become truly aware of the miserabilia factor in one’s life to be able to manipulate it.
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